February of 1970
I had moved back in with my mum almost two years ago. Like anything, there were good days and poor ones. This time, however, it wasn’t because of the drugs. Mum didn’t allow any of that in the house, which was fine by me most of the time. I still missed Jenny. It hadn’t been so awful when I was back in the studio recording. You see, it was Dave’s idea when the management agreement I’d had with Andy, that is, Andrew King, went sour, to get me back in the studio. He even produced the album. I didn’t think about her, or who she was with, or what she was doing; I didn’t have the time to fret about it. That felt like years ago, although I suppose it must’ve only been a few months. The album came out a few weeks ago and although nobody’s told me anything, I can sense by the size of my cheque it hadn’t had quite the impact Piper had. Not that money really matters all that much, though when you live with your mum.
With no distractions, my mind wandered endlessly to Jenny. I wondered how she’d been keeping on these days, if she’d found someone to replace me, or if she was as miserable and lonely as me. I doubt it. Jen is perfection incarnate. She is smart, beautiful, funny, understanding, and aware of the world and its problems…and god, she put up with me for years. Yes, I was sure she had probably found some other bloke who had his life together. I was jealous, needless to say, of someone I wasn’t entirely sure even existed. As long as she wasn’t with David. I mean, she wasn’t before, but then maybe I put the idea in her head and… I didn’t really care about my place in the band. I was happy David took my place…in the band, not with Jenny. If he took my place with Jenny, I swear…
Sam, my doctor, had told me when I first began the path to sobriety that the chemicals I was taking did some wonky things with my brain, and although I was about a year and half without that stuff, I would still notice some lasting symptoms, such as the paranoia I seem to have delved into. That’s all this was. Jenny’s not with Dave, I was just being silly.
My mind drifted to the time I finally got the nerve to ask her out for the first time. I was going to call her to ask her to the zoo… Jenny loved animals. My fingers shook like timid leaves in the unforgiving winds of fall.
“Hello?”
“Uh… Hi, Jenny.”
“Hey Rog. Or do you go by Syd now?” she chuckled, mocking my new nickname.
“Why does it matter? You’ll call me whatever you want anyways.” She laughed at that, and I joined her, a bit shakily.
“So… did you need something?”
“Yes- I was wondering if you… maybe…would like to go to the zoo…with me… tomorrow?”
“Do you mean like a date?” she asked. I wasn’t sure if it was excitement or repulsion in her voice.
“Yeah, if that’s okay with you…”
As quickly as the memory came, it ended, dissolving like the raindrops in the puddles outside.
