Jellyfish

19. Truly Brothers

Blair had taken to visiting Diego every single day no matter what he had to sacrifice to do it. He was gone a significant portion of the days and it made for a much quieter household. Today, he'd headed out bright and early so Eddy could drop him off on the way to work and it left Oliver, Winter, and I with the house to ourselves. It was the perfect time to talk, I decided, as they both sat on the couch discussing something entirely mundane about the movie we'd watched last night. I almost felt bad interrupting, but it was not something I could put off longer. I'd always felt guilty sharing my burdens with others. I knew the longer I waited to tell them, the less likely it was I would actually do it, so with that in mind, I dropped down on the couch beside the pair and waited until Oliver acknowledged me.

"Need something, kid?" He asked, leaning back and tossing his legs over my lap.

I didn't mind being used as the couch, especially when there was so much I had to say. "Yeah, I wanted to update you on our revenge situation."

Oliver's face darkened, and he looked away. "I already heard about the tape. I gotta say, I didn't think you'd go there, but kudos."

"Well, that's the thing," I started.

The story began with Zig and the pizza place we'd met in. I told them about the file and about Cain's relationship with Tobias. I told them about asking him for help and putting too much faith in him. From there I told them about the party. I told them about how we danced, and how I'd overhead Miles talking. I didn't exclude details this time. I mentioned the drinking, the dancing, and the kiss. I told them I didn't remember what I said, but that I almost got us both into huge trouble. After that, I recounted yesterday, from the moment Frankie showed up on our doorstep to the minute I left Isaac's house with him. I stopped holding back the parts I considered my problem, because what did I know about managing my own problems? By the time I'd finished, I'd told them so much I wondered if a single word was going to even register in their confused minds. Turns out, they were better listeners than I thought.

"I don't know what I'm more worried about," Winter sighed, obviously bothered. "You trying to rehabilitate the asshole or you supposedly dating two idiots."

"Hey," I protested. "I happen to like those idiots."

"I'm sure you do," Oliver's suggestive smile earned him a smack from my protective older brother.

"August, I don't know if that's a good idea," he confessed, taking the whole thing much more seriously than I wanted him to. "I want you to be happy, and normal and shit, but the dating thing might be a little much. I'm not saying you can't handle it- I have the utmost faith in you- I'm just saying you might want to think that through a little more. You know the kind of things that are expected when you're in a relationship. Are you mentally ready for that?"

I knew what he was referring to and I had already heavily weighed that into my decision. "Honestly, I'm not sure."

"I don't follow," Oliver jumped in. "But I think if you like them, why not?"

I don't think either of us expected when Winter said, "Abuse can do a lot to a person," and it was probably the first time either of us had said the word out loud. We avoided it like a disease, as if saying abuse would somehow make it more real and I think it was the first time Oliver had gotten any kind of solid information on what we had come from.

His smile dimmed as he nervously licked his lips. "Were you," he paused, obviously pondering if it was too insensitive to outright ask. "Were you abused?"

I hesitated to reply, thinking it over before saying, "I mean, it depends."

"No, it doesn't," Winter shut me down instantly. "Abuse doesn't mean getting beat every night as harsh as that is. There's a lot more ways to hurt a person and that's just as bad."