Home | Loki [Book Two]

Chapter Six

"Why are there gaps in my memory?" I asked, standing up. "Why don't I remember everything?"

"The spell introduces memories a few at a time so as not to overload your mind with information." I could see Frigga's knuckles grow white from gripping the dagger with anticipation. She expected the worst. 

"How much do you know about... me?"

"Not much. You didn't know much either, the few times I met you when you were young. It seemed you were a mystery to everyone."

"Do you know why I'm called Mayhem?"

"From what little is known, you are Mayhem itself."

"Like, a god?"

"No," Frigga said. "Gods control and create things. You are the thing." 

A bell sounded in the distance. 

"What does that mean?" I asked. 

"It means that Odin wishes that I return to the throne room." Frigga shelved the book she had used for the memory spell. "Would you like me to inform Loki and Thor?"

"No, no," I said quickly. "I would prefer to tell them myself."

Frigga nodded, turning to leave. Before she did, though, she said something else. "You're good for Loki, you know. I can see it in his eyes that he loves you. Don't be afraid to tell him about Mayhem." She left. 

I sat down in one of the chairs, feeling defeated and tired. Sure, I was happy that the question of who--or what, I guess-- I was had been answered, but one answer raised countless more questions.

Loki would be coming to the library soon, so I quickly erased all evidence that I had been there longer than a few minutes and walked to the back shelves to search for any Mayhem-related information. At the last minute, I remembered I still looked like Mayhem. I was panicking too much to think straight, so I resorted to illusions. 

Not long after, I heard the rush of air as the door opened.

"Delta?" Loki asked. 

"What?" I was pretty sure my voice was at least an octave higher than it should have been. I hoped Loki couldn't hear how nervous I was. 

"I'm just making sure I don't have to go rescue you again."

"I'm offended that you would think that."

"Need I remind you of the 'Hydra is going to kill me so I'll run away on a subway' incident?"

"That's a terrible imitation of my voice." I found an ancient history book and sat next to him on the couch.

"What's the illusion for?" he asked. 

"Illusion?" I had forgotten that he could detect them. "Oh right. Well, uh, that's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Loki closed the book he had been reading and turned to look at me. "What happened?"

"Have you ever heard of Mayhem?"

"The thing or the person?"

"The person."

"From what I know, which is very little, Mayhem stands as the opposite of Yggdrasil. While the World Tree is a symbol of peace, fate, and unity, Mayhem is chaos, anarchy, and a believer of deciding one's own fate. That's really all I know."

"Well, um, on that cheery introduction," I said as I popped my knuckles nervously, "meet Mayhem." The illusion melted away, leaving Mayhem in all her chaotic glory. 

"Is this from the memory wipe and replacement report from Hydra?" Loki asked.

"Probably, but I'm not completely sure if-- wait, how are you so calm?" I demanded. 

"I see no reason not to be."

"Then you're either uncharacteristically stupid or extremely brave." I started flipping through the history book.

"How much do you remember?" 

"Not much. Frigga's spell only returns memories a few at a time."

Loki was quiet for a moment. "I met you once."

"You met Mayhem?"

"You are Mayhem, love."

"But you met me before? When?"

"About three hundred years ago, a stranger came to Asgard. No one knew who it was, but the stranger revealed herself as Mayhem. We had heard of Mayhem, but no one ever suspected that she would come to us before we went to stop her. 

"She challenged Odin, claiming that he had interfered with a battle she had taken part of. A fight ensued; Mayhem bested Odin, but spared his life on the condition that neither he nor Asgard would interfere with her actions."

"You said that you met her," I interrupted, "not Odin."

"I'm getting there. As I was saying, Thor was away at some minor battle or another, but I had stayed at the palace. I was on my way back to my quarters when I nearly ran into someone who I later learned was Mayhem. We struck up a conversation where I found out that she is the opposite of Yggdrasil and an all-seer."

"A what?"

"An all-seer. Like Heimdall."

"What else do you remember?" I was desperate for information. "Did I look the same? Did I tell you anything else?"

"You looked to be about 700, or fifteen in human years. And no, you didn't tell me much else."

I sighed and slumped against the back of the couch. "What am I going to do?"

"You are going to get ready to go to the dining hall, get through dinner, and return to Midgard for some peace and quiet. " Loki stood up, then offered his hand to help me up after him. "Illusions are not a good long-term plan. What you want to do is shapeshift."

"How do I do that?"

"It's like an illusion, but semi-permanent. You can't sense it like you would an illusion."

After nearly an hour of attempting the seemingly impossible feat of shapeshifting into a more normal form that people would recognize as Delta, I finally managed something passable.

"Perfect, except for the eyes," Loki said. 

"What's wrong with my eyes?" I asked defensively.

"They aren't taking well to the shapeshifting."

When I looked at my reflection in the window, I could see my usually brown eyes flicker back and forth into the shifting colors of Mayhem's eyes. 

"Should I just use an illusion?"

"That's probably best. Let's go." We ended up walking the entire way to the dining hall because I was too tired to teleport. When we finally did arrive, Thor was already well on his way to being drunk and the Warriors Three were cheering him on while Lady Sif feigned disappointment. 

"You know," I said to Loki, "in Norse mythology, Sif and Thor end up getting married."

"Really? I think Sif is hoping that the myths become true."

"If it weren't for Jane," I pointed out.

"If it weren't for Jane," he agreed. 

The evening went like you might expect: Thor got too drunk and started singing off-tune ballads with Volstagg, Fandral noticed a "weird dimension" in my eyes but was dismissed as flirting, Hogun was mad and fought Sif for the last boar, and Loki looked disappointed in them all during the whole ordeal. 

Sooner than I would have liked, the merriment was over. Loki and Thor gathered a few of their things to take back to Midgard and I picked a dozen or so history books to comb through back at Avengers Tower. The visit had been short, but good nonetheless.