it preferences | 🎈

♡ things my friends have said

bill
°"speech therapy can suck my dick. my voice is perfect."
°"yeah, perfectly fucked."
°"hey, at least everything you say sounds cute."

richie
°*holding a yellow gusher* "this is the most artificial yellow i have ever seen"
°"you're the most artificial yellow i have ever seen."
°nobody laughs.
°"get it? cause you're asian??"
(kid you not this actually happened lmao but dw we're all friends and no one was offended.)

eddie
°"if i tell my mom i'm gay for alex do you think she'll be mad?"
°"bitch, she's gonna yeet you and your homosexuality all the way to north korea."

stan
°"so, this weekend i found out that i'm getting top surgery next week."
°everyone congratulates my soft friend.
°"and how was your weekend?"
°"i sat and contemplated on which was bigger, my urge to live or if my urge to meet satan. can you guess which won?"
(this happened in group therapy and my friend got yelled at all session ahah)

bonus quote:
°having a quiet, secret convo
°"lesbians are basically just girls with short hair and flannels."
°"so ashley?"
°ashley is wearing a red flannel.
°ashley has short red hair.
°ashley hears her name and asks what we're talking about.
°"we were just saying-"
°this girl interrupts me and screams
°"are you..."
°pause
°"a lesbian?"