Synonym for Love

Agape

All of this—all of this—would be so much easier to process if Todd would stop smiling at him like that. It's making Scott's heart do incredibly agitating things, more so than it's already doing from, well, from what they're doing. But then there's the part of him, the not inconsiderable part, that thinks the look Todd is giving him, full of affection and concentration, is probably the best look Scott's ever got from anyone. And the fingers—the fingers help. They definitely—help.

They're not really helping with Scott's heart, or with his breathing for that matter, and definitely not with processing anything that's going on, but Todd spreads them wide and a sudden warmth blooms in Scott's abdomen and the noise he lets out at that, one he didn't know he could even make, and then the way Toddy's eyes widen and his grin gains a couple more teeth—okay, not helpful. Very not helpful. Very embarrassing. Very—

"Do that again, please."

"Do what again?"

"You know." Scott tries to glare at him but, with one leg up on Toddy's shoulder and the other trying to curl around his waist and two of Toddy's fingers inside of him, it loses quite a lot of its authority. "The—with your fingers, what you just did with them."

Toddy's smile changes to a beatific twist of his lips and Scott groans because oh God he would tease him right now, wouldn't he. He drums the fingers of his free hand on Scott's shinbone. "Well, I just did a lot of things with them, didn't I? You have to be more specific, you always tell me to—"

"Todd is this really the time."

Todd drops his voice a couple octaves in imitation of Scott. "'Scotty, you can't just ask me to hand you the 'thingy' and expect me to know what you mean'."

"Would you just—" Scott huffs and then loses the rest of his sentence in a moan when Todd, still with the angelic little smile, spreads his fingers again and, fuck, slips in a third one. It's this close to being too much and Scott gives him another glare even weaker than the last and completely abandoned at the first motion Todd makes.

It's still strange, even if it does feel good, having anything inside him like this. He and Todd have been—intimate—before, definitely, but they've just never got around to doing this, they've been out of condoms and the convenience store was closed or one or the other of them wasn't up for it or they were just too nervous (Scott still privately thinks, and Todd has expressed the same opinion, that whoever first attempted anal sex must have been an unspeakably brave person), and he'd tried fingering himself once or twice but it had just felt weird and he couldn't see what he was doing.

With Todd it still feels weird but the other man can see what he's doing and along with the weird there's good, there's—very good. Especially the way he just curled all his fingers.

"Think you're ready?" Toddy's voice is a bit earthy, and he's got dark pink spreading across his cheeks, and Scott thinks ready and then has some difficulty swallowing.

"I...think so?" He shouldn't be nervous, they've talked this out and he dealt with fingers well enough and it's Todd for God's sake, the man has trouble killing spiders. Scott takes a couple breaths in through his nose and then nods. "Yeah."

"'Cause if you're not I'm pretty sure I could get you off just like this."

His face is already quite warm, but it gets warmer. Todd probably could, is the thing, but despite that and despite his nerves Scott is going to go through with this. "No, I think I'm ready." Scott recognizes these nerves, too, they're the same ones he had when he'd kissed Todd the first time even though Todd had already kissed him quite a lot by that point, so going by that example this will hopefully end up well.