Pull My Strings

01

You can do this. 

My fists clench and I breathe deeply. I shut my eyes and focus only on my breath going in and out. 

In. Out. In. Out. You can do this. In. Out...

"Bre?"

I snap my head around, looking back to see who called my name. My mom is looking at me, a worried expression painted on her face. "Bre? Are you okay?" I plaster a fake smile on without a moment's hesitation.

"Yeah. Just... you know. First day jitters." 

"Oh." She pauses for a half second before tilting her head slightly. "Are you excited though?"

Now it's my turn to pause. Am I excited? For her sake, I'll be excited. "Yeah, Mom. It should be fun, you know? New people, new adventures and whatnot. It'll be like... a fun learning experience." I'm rambling like a dumbass, and it's not like me at all. 

She gives me a half-smile and nods slowly. "Okay... are you sure you're going to be able to drive to school?" 

"Yeah, Mom, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. It's going to be great. Make a ton of friends. Do well in school. Hell yeah. I'm ready. I can do this! I can..." I stop rambling for half a second. My mom looks even more worried than before. "I'm good, Mom. Shouldn't you get ready for work?"

"Yeah..." she begins. "But you were... looking a bit crazy over there. Are you sure you're gonna be fine?"

I nod, steadying my breathing. "Of course! Don't worry about me." My jolly tone makes me gag inside, but thankfully, she takes it. "I'll see you when you get off work. And I'll text you."

"Sure. I love you, Bre. See you later." With a final nervous glance backwards, my mom goes up the stairs and disappears into her bedroom.

I take a few more deep breaths in, and then pocket the keys to my car. Day one. I step out the door and into the familiar September sunshine. 

The neighborhood of Lake Burns is beautiful, no doubt. The grand white and grey houses of the suburban neighborhood sparkle under the light. The warm autumn leaves fall gently to the ground. The weather is gorgeous. Everything seems... quieter here. Even the cars don't have the same rumbling tempos of the city. Not to mention the vast waterfront that the realtor agent was very eager to point out to us. 

I fucking hate it. 

I miss the city. I miss my friends who would go out on weekend nights and just live life. I miss my school (surprisingly). I miss the constant lights, even during the nighttime. I miss the crappy driving of the taxis. I miss... all of it. 

I can do this shit easily. You got this.

I hop into my blue Toyota Prius and it rumbles to life. My hands clutch the wheel at ten and two, my knuckles nearly white from pressure. I take ten more breaths. You can never breathe too much, right? You can do this. You got this. Don't worry.  With shaking hands, I pull out of the driveway and into a new life. 

===

I pull up to the front of the school at least ten minutes late. A few last-minute stragglers trail into the school, mostly looking drunk, high, or hungover. The last few parking spots are all the way at the back of the parking lot - far away from the front doors. I spin the wheel frantically and hastily shove my car into the first parking spot I see. 

Snatching my backpack, I open the car doors and quickly step out. I start running towards the entrance, with my bag hitting my back. I hurdle over a bush, and start up the steps to school.

And then I realize that my dumb ass forgot my gym bag. I skid to a stop and turn right around back to my car.

Hurdling over at least ten different bushes, I grab my bag, lock the doors, and then do a final sprint to the entrance. I burst through the doors to see... nobody. One girl is at her locker, hurriedly grabbing her books. She gives me a glance that quite literally says good luck and then rushes down the hallway.

Fuck.

I grab a crumpled schedule from my backpack, and peer at the numbers. Whirling around, I try and find the nearest stairway to get to a) my locker, and b) my classroom.

As you can tell, today's been off on a beautiful start. 

==

After five minutes of failing to find my locker, I give up. I find my first class, and decide to just go in with all of my things. I take the stairs two at a time to the third floor, for English. Turning three wrong corners, I finally find the room of Mr. Crusoe. 

I open the door tentatively. Twenty pairs of eyes turn on me, and I immediately feel my face get warm. The teacher, Mr. Crusoe, looks over at me with an almost disappointed gaze. "Sorry," I whisper quietly. The door slams behind me, and I wince. What an entrance. 

Mr. Crusoe clears his throat. "Miss... Park, I assume." I nod. "Okay." He turns to the rest of the classroom. "Everyone, this is your new classmate. I'll let her come up and introduce herself, and say a little about herself."

I give him a look of disbelief. Hauling my bags over both shoulders, I step up in front of the class. I can feel the burning judgement coming from all of them. "Hi," I say, in a voice more confident than what I'm feeling. "I'm Breanna Park. Um... I'm new. Obviously." There's a dead beat, and someone coughs. "Okay. I'm from New York City. And... yeah. That's all." 

I cast a look at Mr. Crusoe, begging him to show me my seat. He nods curtly, and I step back towards the door. "Your seat is right there, next to Mr. Carlton." I sit down hurriedly, and make no eye contact with anyone.

Mr. Crusoe starts up his talk again. What's it about? The curriculum? The lesson plans? I can barely hear him. I'm already very warm and unnerved. Not to mention that there's a girl in the corner who's whispering to her friend and looking over at me. She says something, and the friend laughs. I look away, and try my absolute hardest to focus on Mr. Crusoe. 

The guy next to me leans over. "Hey," he whispers.

"What?" I hiss, still focused on the whiteboard and Mr. Crusoe.

"You look angry. Don't stress it, girl. Being late doesn't mean shit."

I scoff, and make eye contact with him. "Well, maybe not to you. But I like to think that I care about school, and what people think of me. So, if you'll excuse me." 

He shrugs, and turns away. "Alright. Up to you."

I shake my head and try and focus on Mr. Crusoe. When the bell rings, I snatch up my things, and am the first person out of the classroom. I have to find my locker. Don't wanna be late to the next class. 

===

author's note: yay guys i've finally published the first chapter of this rewrite! i'm super happy to have you guys see this. i'm excited to see where this book is gonna go. ily guys xoxo - rylee