The Boy I've Always Loved (Completed)

Choices (Part 2)

Mom was still suffering from Chronic Lyme Disease and even though she had it under control there was still at least a day  or two out of the month that she couldn't get out of bed. She usually stayed in bed binge watching period dramas or Korean dramas. But she still helped. Even Johnny was checking out tuxedos, shoes and limousines. One day, as he was looking at prices for limousines, I endeavored to ask,

"So how are you going to pay for that?"

" I was hoping that we would all chip in for one."

" That doesn't sound like a bad idea. Let me see these prices."

I took his phone and browsed. He was looking at the hummer limo.

"This is a lot of money. Even if we all pitch in we'd all have to pitch in around 300-400 each. "

"We could do that. " he contemplated.

"Let's just keep it low key. Not too extravagant. I don't want to spend that much on my ride to prom. " I concluded.

"But these are so awesome!"

"No Johnny. It's not that important. Now for more pressing concerns. Has Zack said who he is taking."

"He hasn't. Why do you care?"

"I was just wondering can a girl not wonder! Geez!" I got up and walked off to my room.

No matter how many girls Zack had around him, I never knew who he was really into and when I gave myself time to think about all the girls for a while, I'd feel choked up and my chest would start to hurt so I had to stop thinking about it. I didn't like the pain and I didn't want to focus on why it hurt so much. And if it was jealousy then I wanted to avoid that because he wasn't mine even though a part of me knew that he could be.

Prom came around soon enough and the day started off fine. I woke up, made sure I had my dress out with my shoes, and took a shower. When I got out of the shower I got ready and went to the hair salon where they did my hair and make up. Mom insisted on it and went with me. I drove because she wasn't feeling like driving. We stayed at the salon for two hours or more. Mom struggled to get out of the chair and as she tried to push herself up her legs wobbled underneath her and she fell. I got help from one of the hairdressers and we finally got her in the car. I asked her if she wanted to go to the hospital but she told me to take her home so she could lie down.

"Just take me home and you and Johnny go on and meet your friends for prom." I knew she wanted to make it seem like it was no big deal. I didn't argue with her even though I didn't feel like going anymore. She worried me. I couldn't stand knowing that she was not feeling or doing well. And it really hurt to see her that way.

"Okay mom. Do you want me to bring you something to drink before I leave?"

"No, I'm good. Just have fun with your friends and Johnny! And don't stay out past 11:30." Even if I had wanted to stay, I wouldn't knowing that she wasn't doing well. So I planned to go for a bit and come back home.

Johnny and I rode in my car met Mercedes and her date, a guy named Drake, and Zack and his date, a girl I had never seen him with and whose name I never got. We all rode together in  Zack's mom vehicle, a black Tahoe. Zack was driving and had his date on the passenger seat and Mercedes and her date were in the middle row while Johnny and I rode in the back. I was not feeling the dance and tried to put on a brave face for everyone but to no avail.

"Hey, I know that you're worried about mom, but if it makes you feel better she would want you to enjoy yourself."

"That doesn't make me feel better Johnny so don't try. I'll never understand how you don't worry, so understand that when I worry I can't just turn it off. It would be like asking you to start worrying which is obviously something you are incapable of."