The dankest D-class alive (reader x scp foundation)

prologue

Your prov:

Its been 5 years since you got sent to this dammed foundation . But its as they say, 'cant do the time, dont do the crime'. Round these neck of the woods things like this dont matter. Its a killed or be killed world in the scp foundation. If only they would all be civil an-

"Shut the fuck up ya liptard and go to sleep." a voice calls from the right of your sell. Jesus, let a guy monologue for fucks sake. Its not like you have anything better to do.

Tiredly, you got up from your concrete bed only to be met with another concrete item: the floor

OOF

God that took you back, back to when you had your first and last cort trile. Oh the glory days....

Flashback, Flashback, Flashback, Flashback, Flashback, Flashback-

"Can you please have your sentalmental flashbacks a little quieter, some of us have 173 duty" the guy next to you monefully yelled again as other d-class started to wake from their crimminal slumber. Thats it! First this douche canoe ruined YOUR monologuing, now YOUR precious flashbacks. God, why do people have to be so stubborn?

"Yea!"

"SHUT UP JERRY NO ONE CARES!" Boomed you and the other class-d almost in unison. A wimper could be heard from the cell to the left, earning a well deserved chuckle from you and the other D-bois. Yea serves him right. Fuck jerry. If theres one thing that unites us all, its our biological hate for anyone named jerry.

Anyway, back to Flashback

Flashback, Flashback, Flashback, Flashback, Flashback, Flashback

"Oh god, oh fuck im shakeing and crying they're at it agai-"

It was back in the summer of 96, or was it 2005 you lost track. Anyway you were in cort due to doing the most malicious, most devious, most scandles crime ever. A crime the would make the most hardened criminal shudder.

Going into the mens/womens bathroom

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN! (Dramatic music intensifies)

yes, you had to admit, it was a crap thing to do right? Thats how the judge described it at least. You still to this day dont see anything wrong with entering the mens/womens bathroom, plunger in hand, singing 'wannabe' while smacking some guy/girl with said plunger.

So to sum it all up, you were in cort. Good news was that you were not in that much doo-doo. You just vilated a few laws at best. Just a fine, bit of comunity service and a peck on the cheek would of suficed. But.... your not like other girls. You dont play nice. You dont eat starbucks. You dont breath H20. You dont wear makeup. Your deeeeeep- wait what were you talking about again. . . Ahhhh yes the flashback.

So it was nearly the end of the trile when this hillbilly gets up and goes on an entitled rant about how this is unfair. He said, and you quote;

"Naw fam. She should get more punishments. Shes a good for nothing, penny nicking, sister fucking, tummy sucking huligan. Dam biach should be locked up for gud" - dickhead

Now this, this made you mad. Your usually quite a chill dude, but this ignited something deep within my heart that you just could not qwench. You. Were. Livid.

A little pissed, you shuffled in the goat leather seat you were given. Sweat beads dripped down your soggy head as you staired deep into the hillbillys eyes. Noticing this he goes to give a grin, showing all 6 of his teeth. Lucky bastard.

Suddenly your everyday, ordinary public lawer woke up from his slumber. Litterally this guy has been asleep for allmost all my trial, what a legend. Seriously Give this guy a medel and salute for this is the peak of human evolution.