i don't know what to write
everything is too still
the raindrops aren't hitting the ground they're just hanging there suspended
in my lack of decision, direction, empathy.
i can't feel and i hate it
but it's comfortable,
more comfortable than clawing at scraps of achievement and inclusion
and yet so, so painful to be slowly dissolving in all that i was supposed to be.
if there's a bit of lightning in these cold black skies i need it now. drive me back into the earth and let me shatter and be mended by the hard dirt, be reminded that there is solid ground beneath my feet and not just the kind i sit and cry on.
i need it now
