between us | hyunin

xvi | mufrid

jeongin knew he was collapsing in upon himself. the next day, he hadn't found it in him to get up and go to school, so instead he walked out of the house in the first outfit he'd seen in his wardrobe. 

he had no idea what he'd done wrong. 

wednesday, he and hyunjin had been getting along just fine. more than fine. almost perfect. almost perfect enough that jeongin had almost asked hyunjin the big question he'd feared the answer for.

of course, he'd never get to ask that question now. 

because yesterday everything had fallen apart. jeongin cursed his clumsiness; he shouldn't've split that water on hyunjin. maybe the elder's reaction had been a bit exaggerated, but really, jeongin couldn't blame the boy. he was a stupid, careless idiot. 

jeongin didn't recall ever calling hyunjin ugly, though, and that part made him frown. maybe he was even dumber than he thought, and he'd forgotten doing something so awful. maybe he should apologise to hyunjin about that, maybe they could be friends again- 

that though was immediately erased from jeongin's mind the moment he entered the school ground. people were waiting for him; but not his friends. no, it was a group of girls. jeongin vaguely remembered seeing them mobbing around hyunjin sometimes in the last week. 

he scowled, his mind jumping to the reason for their "greeting". of course they were waiting for him to arrive so they could bully him and throw words at his face. 

today was going to be a long day. 

jeongin kept his head down so no one would see the tear that refused to stay in his wet eyes. ignoring the hurtful comments and pretending they didn't exist had always worked to a degree in the past. 

nothing had changed, really. before hyunjin, he'd had no friends and a head of hurtful remarks. it seemed he was alone again and that those comments would quickly make it back into his minute-by-minute life. 

the only thing that had changed was his hope. before, he hadn't had any. then, with hyunjin and his friends, he'd briefly glimpsed a future which had been bright, happy. he'd had hope, for a single week, that this might be reality. 

now, he'd lost that hope because of something he didn't even remember doing. he was left for a longing to see that metaphorical sun again. 

he shouldn't feel this bad; nothing was ever going to work out for him, anyway. his future had never been bright, not since that first day of school when he'd been picked on because he'd foolishly said his mother was a tax collector. 

it wasn't his fault that his mother collected people's money for the government for a living. it was just her job. but unfortunately it meant everyone had taken a disliking to him. 

he'd been bullied for that first year of school until he'd transferred. this time, he wasn't stupid enough to say anything - especially not now that his mother had been promoted in her department. 

however, he hadn't known how to interact socially and so he'd just been ignored, excluded. 

it hadn't really become bullying until this year. jaehyun had joined the school and immediately identified to jeongin as one of those "dangerous boys"; one of those people that were popular but secretly a bully. he hadn't been wrong. 

even so, he knew it wasn't as bad as what it could have been. 

jaehyun hurt him emotionally, not physically. same with all of the bully's sidekicks. 

jeongin thought he'd be able to cope with emotional hurt, but apparently he couldn't with emotional loss. for that was what losing hyunjin - and all his friends - felt like. even worse. he'd literally lost his ray of hope. the sun had been clouded back over again.