//ja- anxiety//

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the boys were away on tour, in europe.
you and jack lived together in la.
you missed jack a lot while he was away on tour, and you were really afraid something bad might happen while he's away- you were a victim of your own mind.
you used to have really bad anxiety, you used to cut and starve yourself... and then, you met jack, who helped you through it.
having him by your side made you stronger.
it made you feel loved and needed.
and for the first time you in your life, you actually believed someone who called you beautiful.
he had this amazing effect on you, he could calm you down in any situation.
you had a really hard time missing him, although the two of you talked on the phone every day, it still felt as if a part of you was missing.
you started feeling weak.
from day to day you felt worse than the other.
after 5 weeks without his kiss, hug, soft and sensitive skin against yours, without him to hold you, you felt like you were falling apart.
you felt like a mess.
you needed him.
he held you at your worst and best, and you need him to hold you again. now.
you came home from work early because you felt your brain trying to pound it's way out of your head.
you didn't think much about it at first, but it just got worse than before.
so you went in the shower to calm yourself down.
you felt horrible mentally and it reflected physically.
you started breathing heavily, shaking, everything started closing on you, you felt really uncomfortable and like you were about to faint.
you quickly got out of the shower breathing heavily, you threw on one of jack's hoodies, and quickly grabbed your phone.
you collapsed on the floor and burst into tears.
you called jack, but he didn't pickup.
so you texted him, barely being able to see the keyboard due to all the tears that were blocking your sight.

so you texted him, barely being able to see the keyboard due to all the tears that were blocking your sight

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between breaths you whispered "i need you".
you felt like you were choking, after about 8 minutes your phone rang, it was jack.
you answer the phone breathing heavily, with pain and weakness in your town as you whispered "jack".
jack: "hey hey hey baby calm down, what's going on?? i am so sorry i didn't answer, i just got off stage. are you ok?!"
-"n...no," you said in a shaky voice
-"what happened?!"
-"i...i don't know. but i need you. i- i miss you." your voice began to break, "i need you beside me, right now. i can't handle it." you said out of breath.
-"baby, i am so sorry i can't be there beside you right now. but listen to my voice carefully," he said in the most soothing tone, "i might not be there to physically hold you, but i want you to understand that i will always be there for you. i want you to know that you're alright. you're gonna be ok. i promise you."
-"ok, but-"
-"no buts" he cut you off "i want you to promise me you won't do anything you'll regret, and if not for you, than for me. i care about you and i need you too. and if anything happened to you i could never forgive myself. i'm gonna come home tomorrow night and visit you, actually, i'm gonna take you with me. and i'm not gonna leave you alone ever again. because you're mine, and you're everything to me. and i want you here by my side." you started tearing up again, but out of joy. you absolutely love that boy. you wouldn't know what to do without him.
-"i promise. i love you jack"
-"i love you too princess. now go to sleep, you deserve some rest, plus you'll need your strength for tomorrow"
you giggled, and hung up the phone.
you went to sleep and then the next day you opened your phone to this:

***video^***

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