Dear Taeil | Johnil

...December 21st

Dear Taeil,

                      I'm a bit early but early birds get the worms right?

Merry Christmas baby. I can't get you anything this christmas but you have my card so buy whatever you want. Do me a favour? Wish all our friends and parents a merry christmas and happy new years when it comes around for me.

Don't spend christmas on your own okay? You did it last year, I know, so please don't do it this year. This time of the year is meant to spend with someone, somebody, especially when they are close to you. Without a choice, I celebrate this season with my troops whenever I'm away from you and it's great. Go to Taeyong's or something but don't spend the day alone.

It's usually a little chilly around this time so I hope you're all snuggled up in a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa, two large marshmallows and milk, just like how you like it.

Today I felt really lonely, depressed even, but it's nothing to worry about love. I'll see you soon enough again; we'll see each other soon enough again. I don't know when but I know it will be soon, so for the meanwhile, continue to wear my hoodies, it's you so I will allow it. Plus you look sexy in them.

I don't know when I'll get to write again. In case I'm unable to reach out to you, I'll tell you all I want you to know now.

I've already told you this but I love you. I love you so much Taeil and not only because of your exquisite appearance, personality and overall demeanor, you changed my life. I have also told you this before but I'm grateful to you, even after over seven years of being together, I can't get over the impact you had in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for you, seeing something I didn't see.

In a sense, we were each other's saviours.

I know you still think you weren't the reason for my positive flip of life choices, but you are. You brought something out in me that I genuinely thought wasn't there, at least, not anymore. Rest assured though love, I know it exist now; a chance at life, of picking up my shit and straightening out myself.

I went from fuck life to appreciating it and you went from I'll never be pretty to I'm freaking gorgeous.

The point is, that is where it all began, when we started to accept the living truth. I am where I am today because of your persistence in my life, for caring and loving me, and for taking me as I am.

For that, I owe you my life Taeil.

Now, please don't worry. This isn't a farewell letter or me not knowing if I'll come back out alive. It is simply me expressing myself through this letter, or letters really, because of my lonesome now so it had me thinking back and appreciating you more.

That's it, surely more is to come though so don't be alarmed. Take care of yourself baby, stay nice and plump, continue to practise your cooking and occupying your time with the wedding planning. 

I love you.

Yours Sincerely,
Johnny.