Dawn of Hearts (STATION Series #3) (PUBLISHED UNDER LIFEBOOKS)

Kabanata 4

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Kabanata 4

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Tatlong katok sa pinto ang aking narinig ngunit hindi ako gumalaw.

"Aster, sama ka sa 'min ngayon? We're going to a church..."

Nanatili akong nakabaluktot ang katawan habang yakap ang picture frame nina Mommy. The death of my parents hasn't sinked in yet. Ilang linggo na ang nakaraan mula sa pagkamatay nila ngunit hindi ko pa rin talaga matanggap.

Masyadong madali. Masyadong mabilis.

"Please? Sama ka sa 'min. I missed talking to you."

I didn't reply on Circe's plea on the other side of the door. All I wanted is to wallow in my grief because no one would understand. They can symphatize and emphatize with me, but they would never feel the entirety of my sentiment.

"Hindi ko pa kaya," ang tangi kong nasabi.

The wound is still open, it didn't allow my self to heal commemorating the depth of my heartaches. Wala akong ibang maramdaman kun'di sakit ng panghihinayang.

Kung hindi ko pinayagan sina Mommy na sumama sa concert, o kaya ay sumama ako sa concert—ganito kaya ang mangyayari? I think I'll die with them, or they'll die leaving me alive.

Pinalis ko ang luha na tumulo nanaman mula sa aking mata. Bumangon ako mula sa pagkakahiga at pinansin ang kabuoang anyo sa mahabang salamin.

What a pity, Aster.

"One church, Aster, then I'll leave you alone for the next few days," she bargained.

Sighing, I forced myself to adapt. Umalis ako sa kama at binuksan ang pinto. Bumungad ang bagong-ligo na si Circe at nakagayak na.

"Iintayin ka namin sa baba para kumain. After that, diretso tayo sa Victory para mag-worship."

I only nodded as an answer and tidied up. Just one worship and I'll be alone again.

I joined the Magallanes for breakfast, the first time I did after months of my parents' death. Pagkatapos ay dumiretso sa isang mall na mayroong function hall para sa worship services.

"Is this a cinema?" I immediately asked once the interior design greeted my eyes.

The artificial wind was cold because of the air conditioning. Parang cinema ang loob ng function hall. Iilan na ang tao sa loob at pinapatugtog ang ilang mga worship songs bilang background music.

"I'm glad you joined us, Aster," sabi ni tita Rina.

I'm glad that they understand me with my mourning, but it was very embarrassing for my part. Matagal na akong sinusuyo nina tita Rina para lumabas ng bahay ngunit ngayon ko lang ginawa.

"Pasensiya na po sa mga abala," I said.

"Walang problema sa 'min 'yon. Anak na rin ang turing namin sa 'yo."

Ang makeshift stage ang nakakuha ng aking atensiyon pagkaupo. A spotlight was focused on the stage showcasing a band's instruments. The edgeless screen was displayed at the back.

I felt the need to sing again, or even feel the surface of the instruments. I sighed as I waited for the service to start. Bumubuhos na rin ang tao sa loob ng function hall. Mula bata hanggang matanda ay narito.

"First time mo ba rito, Aster?"

I twitched my lips; feeling uncomfortable. "Nagvi-Victory naman kami rati pero hindi kami active. Kapag nakakahanap lang ng oras tsaka sumasama."