to die beautifully, a Hanahaki Disease story (erasermic)

fluff, gore, suicide themes, ext... read with caution

weeping after a long day of torment i force myself past my family to my room. throwing off my backpack and hastily throwing off my clothes trying to feel lighter. continuing to go through my routine i run to the shower not wanting anyone to hear me. steadying my breathing and walking in the shower. resting my head on the wall above the shower-head. turning on the water mixing my tears with the steady stream of cold water.

falling to my knees and holding onto them pulling them to my chest letting my head rest on them. clenching my teeth and trying not to cry all at once and let out a soft jittery whimper. trying to smile but only to be pulled down by a wobbly frown that makes my lips quiver. taking a deep sigh and looking down to the broken and uneven tiles in the shower.

drawing aimless shapes in the water and pouting. a flash of memory comes to me making me snap out of my depressed mood. replacing it with a mix of emotions as i think back to today.

-earlier that day-

walking to school as the autumn's leaves fell making a rain of orange and red. turning to face me as he smiled walking backward, "isn't today nice!" moving his arms up he spun in circles, "i love this time of year!" turning back to me he smiles and says quietly, "but i love something more..."

looking to him and blushing i ask hesitantly, "what do you love more...?" putting a finger to his mouth dismissively closing his eyes and smiled, "that's a secret~" blushing more and looking away i mumble, "im good with secrets..." walking beside me holding his hands behind his back. tuning his attention back to me, "yeah but i secrets no fun if i tell it"

looking down not wanting him to see my blush i nod absently minded, "mmh..." the rest of the walk was him beaming as he continued to talk about the weather and fall. his eyes gleaming and a permanent smile plastered on his face as he ran through the leaves. catching his eye he went running to some dying peonies.

squatting in front of them and poking them sadly as he mumbles something under his breath. curious to why he was suddenly so down i walk next to him. looking down at his then the flowers i squat beside him. before i could say anything he pouts, "there is one thing i don't like about this time of year..."

taking one of the dying flowers gently as i put it between my fingers. as he looks up to me confused i crush the flower and dropping the petals beneath me. with a shocked gasp, he asks in an accusing tone, "dude! why would you do that!!"

getting up and wiping the brown and pink crumpled petals off on my pants. i deadpan, "autumn is to kill everything beautifully, so it doesn't suffer during winter." looking to me in awe hizashi got up ready to object. but stopped by me glaring to him, "would you rather die in a beautiful time like this? or slowly die in freezing isolation."

dumbstruck unsure what to say he looks at me surprised. slowly letting what i said sink in his face goes to awe to understanding. looking down he says in a guilty tone, "i would rather die beautifully..."

smiling softly to him i spin around my arms reaching to the sky as i gesture to all around me, "so let's enjoy the beauty! enjoy it so nothing is sufferers being forgotten. let's celebrate for everything dying!" giggling he holds onto the collar of my uniform trying to stop my spinning. tripping on my shoelaces and making the two of us fall into a pile of leaves.

making us both surprised with a sharp gasp before laughing at our clumsiness. still holding onto me still holding me down in the pile of leaves he blushes putting his hands up embarrassed, "s-sorry about that..." smiling softly as my own blush covered my face i say softly back, "it's fine" scratching his neck he mumbled, "but i liked what you said earlier..." trying to read what he was getting at, "i like what you said earlier too... about the beauty..."