Angel Eyes

Miss Marcy says I have to tell what happened. Momma says that Miss Marcy is my ther'pist and that I have to do what she said. She said that ther'pists help. I don't know what they help. I'm not allowed to ask how come. Miss Marcy says that telling what happened will help with my 'mental s'bility.'

Miss Marcy asks me what's my earliest rememory. I say I don't know. She says think harder. I do.

I remember a house. It had two floors. It was white, and it had a chimney. It was clean. It was a happy house. I remember Daddy kissing Momma and Momma laughing. Momma had a pretty laugh. Daddy said that's what he fell in love with. They take me out of my car seat. We go in the happy house. Momma still has a picture of it.

There was a lot of white folks on that street. I was the only black kid. The other kids didn't care. I played hop-scotch and jump-rope with the girls. I played tag with the boys, too.

Momma and Daddy never argued, back in the happy house. I loved Momma and Daddy.

And then Willa-Jean came along.

We didn't know it was a girl at first. I hoped it was. I wanted a sister to play with. Momma's tummy got real big, like a big old basketball. We got a new house. It was little. I missed the happy house. Momma started getting tired all the time.

I remember the day Daddy got fired. He came home really really late. He smelled like the yucky water Momma told me not to touch. Momma asked him where he been. He didn't say nothing. He hit her face instead.

At first, she was scared. But Daddy didn't hurt me, just Momma. So Momma and Daddy started fighting. Daddy started drinking a whole lot of yucky water. Momma would yell at him, and he would yell back. When she yelled again, he would hit her.

I was always scared. Daddy didn't hurt me. But I always thinked he would. There wasn't any kids on my street this time, and Momma wouldn't let me go outside. The house was always sad and smelled like yucky water.

One day I was playing hide-and-seek with Momma and Willa-Jean. She was one-and-a-half, I think. I was gonna be seven in one day. I was excited. I asked for a library card. Momma said maybe.

I was hid in a laundry basket. There was a blanket on me. I could see a little bit. It was a good hiding place. Willa-Jean was only under the table.

I thinked I heard Momma coming, so I shut my eyes closed. But then I heard the door open and shut loud, and then Momma said, "Chris, this gotta stop" in the front room. I knew Momma was in trouble then, so I covered my mouth and opened my eyes.

Daddy was home, and he said some bad words to Momma. She walked into the room backwards. She said some bad words back. I heard Daddy break something. He followed her. He was angry.

Willa-Jean watched from underneath the table. "Dada?" she said. Daddy didn't listen. Daddy hit Momma. Her head hit the wall and I heard a loud crack. She fell to the ground, blinking funny.

Willa-Jean started crying. Daddy growled and grabbed Willa-Jean. He said his head was hurting. Daddy through Willa-Jean at the wall. She stopped crying.

Momma had stopped blinking and was looking at Daddy. I thinked she was very very scared. Her eyes got real big and I thinked she was crying.

I heard the door open, but I didn't do nothing. Daddy kicked Momma, and she cried.

But then Momma looked at something behind Daddy. I couldn't see what she was looking at. Her eyes were still scared. But her face was calm.

"Chris," someone said. Daddy froze.

Aunt Angela is Daddy's sister. She's got smooth pretty brown skin an' great big strong eyes. Momma says she's on a 'air force,' but I know she's a fighter pilot.

And Aunt Angela was safe. Daddy couldn't hurt Momma no more.

Aunt Angela took Daddy away. Momma found me and held me tight as two great big policemen came to our house. I didn't listen to them. I just hugged Momma. I was scared.

The policemen took Willa-Jean away. Aunt Angela came back. She made us leave the sad house and go to her house.

Momma and me and Aunt Angela have lived in Aunt Angela's apartment for two years. I'm still scared that Daddy will come back. But I know Aunt Angela is safe. She said she'll protect us.

Momma calls her a blessing from the Lord. I thinked she was an angel. And my angel is still protecting me, with her great big strong eyes.