The Untameable

Chapter 4 (Amyara)

I woke up to the muffled voices of Johann, Aisha and Sarah. I don't know what they're talking about. I opened my eyes and the blurred images cleared. My head hurts. I touched my forehead to feel the bandaid. Wait? Where am I?
This is a hospital. What happened?
"Amyara??" Johann's voice called from my left. I titled my head to face him.
His expression is one of worry.
"What happened? Why am I in a hospital.?" I asked. He interlaced his fingers with mine still not speaking.
"You just fainted and hit your head."Aisha's voice came from left.
"Yeah I would've laughed because it looked funny the way you fell. But I couldn't because of the blood." Sarah said.
"Did doctor said, why that happened?" I asked.
"Umm.." Johann said and the two of them are still quite. Okay what the fuck!
"What is it? I didn't eat anything today. It's probably weakness. Right?" I said. I wasn't ready for anything else. Please don't let it be anything else.
Oh god! What is wrong with these guys. They're just watching me with sympathetic eyes and it's freaking me out.
"I am so sorry baby." Johann said.
"Okay enough. Just tell me already." Every second is making me more and more anxious.
"Please don't freak out okay. It's just that..." He trailed off.
I tried to sit up, and Aisha helped me. Whatever it is it can't be good.
"Johann tell me already." I said already irritated that why Aisha and Sarah are not saying anything.
"Amyara, it's my mistake...I should've..."
"Oh god! Tell her." Aisha said.
"I don't know how to say this." Johann said
"Like you say everything. Come on what's wrong. Am I dying or something?" I said.
"No you're not baby you're just..."
"You're pregnant for God's sake." Sarah blurted out.  Obviously she also got irritated from Johann,and he is sometimes..Wait! What?
"What?" I said wide eyed looking at all three of them.
"I am so sorry baby. I didn't know how'd it happen. I mean we were careful but I guess if it's here we have to accept it as a blessing." Johann said.
"WHAT THE FUCK? Is this some kind of sick joke. It's a prank isn't it.. You guys are just trying to freak me out. Come on enough already. Who's filming? Huh? Johann? It's a prank right? You know i don't like practical jokes. They're mean. But it's too much. Who's idea was it?" I said as my shock turned to understanding that it's probably one of those pranks that we do to each other every now and then.
Johann didn't say anything he just came closer and hugged me. What the hell? Why is he hugging me and all? These guys have really developed there acting skills. It's almost as if it's true. Sick fuckers!
"It's okay. It's fine. Shhhh...." Johan soothed as he kissed the top of my head.
I tried to push him so that I could see his eyes.
"You're taking me home. And this joke has got to end. Now." I said as I tried to get off the bed.
" No. You can't go Amyara. You hit your head. And we're not joking. I swear." Johann said as he pushed me back to bed. I looked at Aisha and Sarah for some help but there faces said everything.
Shit! Fuck! Oh my f-ing God! This can't be it. I would've preferred cancer. Don't give me a baby. I don't need a baby right now. Not anytime soon. I am only 23 for fuck's sake. I can't just go ahead and become a mommy. I am not ready for that. I am not ready for the responsibility and pain and becoming a parent...Shit! Parents! How would I tell my mom? She's gonna kill me. Oh god! It's even worse than the time when I left house 5 years ago.
My heart was beating so fast right now I could hear it. My lips and throat went dry. My eyes welled up. Okay I can't cry. It's a good news right. It's a baby. Babies are cute, aren't they? I don't know how to process it. What should I do now? It's not like I have any other choice. I am not a murder. I won't kill it. It's a part of me. It's mine. I can't stop calling the baby 'it' because I am still not sure if it's a person inside me. I reached up to touch my stomach and I don't know how old is he now. I don't even know if it's a he or a she. I am not sure whom would I prefer more because either way it will be mine to protect and to love. Okay. Now it's all sinking in. So I guess I'd have to deal with it. If only it's as easy as it sounds.
"Don't cry. We're gonna figure it out. Everything. I promise we would." He said as he sat beside me and wiped the tear from my right cheek.
I am sad and happy. I am on the verge of a break down and I want to hug my bestfriends. I want to run away and I want to capture this moment forever. I am just overwhelmed with everything. But most of all I am angry. A LOT. On one person.
"What figure it out? Huh? It's not like it's gonna change anything for you. Right? You'll get out of it untouched. But my whole life is gonna change. Everything is gonna go down. My dreams, my aspirations, my future, my plans..and MY BODY!!!" I shouted.
"Calm down okay. I know you don't know how to process it but you're saying all the wrong things. Of course it's gonna change everything for me too. I'll become a dad. I'll have to manage the finances. I'll have to buy a place for us. I'll have to talk to our parents. I'll have to give up my freedom. I'll have to arrange the wedding." He said.
"Then why are you not freaking out?"
"Amyara I am not freaking out because I love you. And no matter what I'll always love you. And I wanna be here for you. I know it's gonna change a lot but we can do this together. I always thought about our future. So what if it's happening a little sooner than we thought. It's still our baby."
I sighed. He is right. He always says the right things. At least he is not just one of those guys who flee once they hear about becoming a dad. He's only a year older than me. He still doesn't have a secure job. He's still figuring out and so am I.

The nurse walked in. She checked me and then told me to meet with the doctor and then I can go. I got off the bed. I am still not sure how to face my friends. It's twenty first century. We're modern people living in a big city. It's not a big deal. But still it's sort of making me ashamed. I didn't want everybody to know about my business. And I really can't go there right now. I have so many worries but I'll have to wait to think things through at least until I am stable. My head is still spinning and the pain has gotten bad to worst. After the long conversation with the doctor and buying the medicines, we met Aisha and Sarah waiting for us at the waiting area of the hospital.
"Let's go home, mommy." Sarah said with that damn smirk on her face as she stood up and offered me her hand. Aisha giggled.
I glared at her.
"What? I was just trying to lighten up the situation."
"Fuck you!" I said.
"Hey you've got to learn to mind your language. You don't want your baby's first word to be Fuck you. Right?"
Okay so she made me smile.
"No I want it's first word to be Fuck you Sarah!!!"
God! Look at me. A few hours ago I was thinking about Saturday night's party for Aisha's birthday and choosing outfits from my wardrobe. And a little time later I am pregnant and joking about my baby's first word. I might as well just stop already or else I'll start worrying about other stuff like , what would be it's name? What would it be like? What would be the colour of its eyes?
I am becoming a typical woman already. It's my partying age. What's happening? Why is it happening? Did I already have my share of fun so god is giving me responsibilities? Or is this my karma?
Stop it Amyara! Don't think now. Doctor said you have to be tension free. Stress free. Okay deep breathes.
Inhale. Exhale.
Inhale. Exhale.

Johann had some work so he dropped us off at the apartment. I am still so consumed by my thoughts but I could notice there is something wrong with Sarah and Aisha. Aisha was about to tell me what happened with her and Adi but I just fainted and I didn't hear anything she said. I think I am gonna have to talk to them once I get a grip of myself.

"You okay?" Aisha finally broke the silence as we sat and ate lunch together. We haven't said anything since we came back home.
"No!" I said.
"Me either." Sarah and Aisha said in unison.
"Let's not talk about anything for a little while." I said.
"Yeah. I agree. It's too much to handle." Aisha said.
"It's a shame that the trip have to be cancelled now." Sarah said.
I sighed. The trip. Yes. We haven't gone anywhere after our little adventure five years ago. We've been busy. And college ended a month ago. We decided to make something out of these holidays. Before everything changes. Before all of us get busy and get on with our lives. We wanted to experience that taste of freedom again. So we planned a trip for just the three of us a week ago. We made a list of all the places, booking and stuff was also in process. We were half way through the packing because we were supposed to leave soon. And this time we told everyone about it. It was just a little vacation. But I guess I just ruined it. Our only chance. I won't be able to live that freedom ever again. I'll have to carry the baby everywhere. And everything will change. I can't believe all this. We were looking forward to that trip for so long now. Of course we needed some time with each other. Not that we don't do it now. It's just that we were supposed to take the break and relive that experience of five years ago.

The knock on the door shook me out of my thoughts. Sarah goes up to open the door. I turned to look Johann walking in with a big ass smile on his face. It's creepy. He always gives me that smile when he is upto something. Oh there we go. He has like 20 or so blue balloons in his left hand, that smile which reached his eyes and lighten up his whole face, and a bag in his right hand.
I am not in the mood right now, but what can I say. It's sweet. I walked up to him and hugged him and kissed his cheek.
"You didn't have to do do this." I said.
"I knew you would say that. Here take this." He said extending his right hand to give me the bag.
I took the bag and looked inside it to find red rose and chocolates. Okay that just made me feel a little better.
"Sarah hold this." He said as he gave her the balloons. Then he retreated something from his jacket's pocket. It looks like a jewellery box.
Oh no! Oh shit! He could've waited. He's such an idiot. He should've waited for us to talk first. Oh My God!
He picked out the ring and sat down on one knee and took my left hand. I saw from the corner of my eyes that Aisha was filming this. Okay I don't know what to say. He is going to propose. Of course I have to say yes. But...
"Amyara.." he had that adorable smile on his face. "I know that I am not perfect and I know this was not supposed to happen this way and this soon. But I am sorry and you know how much I love you right. So I thought there would be no better day to do this."
"Johann."
"Will you marry me?"

.....