The Outcast

7- Mess

I SNEAK SLOWLY through my front door, trying to be silent.

I can't wake dad. He gets so mad if you do.

I shut the door softly behind me and am met by my step mum.

"Hey Cass." she smiles tiredly, "sorry hun, I'm going to work, I have an extra shift. Your dad's in the kitchen. Tred carefully. Your dinner is on the table too."

She presses a kiss on my forehead and walks out. I put my bag in my room and walk hesitantly into the kitchen.

My dad is in there, drinking a beer. His eyes lock into mine. They are cloudy and slightly glassy.

"Cassidy." he slurs

"D-dad." I say softly, nodding at him

"Where have you been?" he asks

"Work." I say

"Oh! I know what work is!" he says drunkenly

I just nod, hating to see my father this way.

"I'm going out Cassidy." he tells me

"A-are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask, worried

"Yes. It is. I'm going. I'll be back later, probably." he says, going into hysterics

"Dad! Please, Stop!" I beg, tears filling my eyes

"Stop what?" he asks

"Everything! The alcohol, the late nights!" I say

"Don't tell me what to do you fat, worthless bitch." He slurs angrily and stumbles towards the front door, knocking over a lamp in the process, smashing the globe on the floor boards.

I hear the door slam shut.

Why me? Why does my life have to be like this? Haven't I suffered enough?

Apparently not.

I stare at the dinner mum left for my on the table. My dad's words come back to me.

'You fat, worthless bitch.'

Suddenly, I loose my appetite.

I don't want dinner.

I'll skip it, just for today though.

'After that, no more skipping meals', I tell myself.

If only I meant it.

-

I put my dinner in the fridge and walk towards my room. I can hear sobbing coming from the room next to mine.

Alice.

I poke my head in.

"You okay Alice?" I ask softly

She lifts her head, her face streaked with tears.

"Daddy... Was yelling loud again." she cries, "scary."

I sit next to her on her little single bed.

I pull her Tinkerbell sheets up over her and lie next to her, stroking her hair.

"Shh. It's okay Alice." I whisper, trying not to give away how not okay everything is.

She snuggles into my arms.

I sigh, feeling exhausted. I wrap my arms around her and fall asleep next to her, still in my work clothes.

-

"Cassidy! School today love!" Mum says softly, knocking on the door.

I groan, untangling myself from Alice. I leave her sleeping on the bed.