Let Go Before You Fall-TreeBros fanfic

Chapter 11-Connor

I'm only getting worse. Both mentally and physically. It's been two months since Evan broke his arm and I've been there for him more than ever before, but my Hanahaki has also been worse than ever. I could die any day now. This isn't how I want to go out. I cough all over the book I'm reading while sitting on my window seat in my room. I open the window and vomit practically a bush of flowers. This has become the norm for me now. Coughing up blood and delicate blossoms, occasionally accompanied by clumps of branches.

Emails to Evan fly like the small twigs and delicate little flowers do out of my throat. I vomit blood, branches and blossoms at least 5 times a day, and that doesn't even begin to count how much I cough up blood and petals daily. I can't live with this much longer. My love for a boy I can never have is going to kill me in probably less than a week. I'm genuinely terrified, but happy that Evan has been doing okay.

I wake up at 6:30, like usual, run downstairs and chug the remaining milk in the fridge before anyone else wakes up, leaving just a tiny bit so I don't have to throw away the carton. I run back upstairs to smoke a blunt. Nice going. Get high on the first day of school so you don't have to go. I take a hit and begin coughing violently, so I open the window a) to let out some of the smoke and b) to vomit out of. More blood than usual, and as the clump falls to the compost pile below my window, I notice leaves. I'm getting so much worse. I hear Mum's footsteps as she gets out of bed, so I put out the blunt, throw it out the window, which I close after doing so, cough into my sleeve, and throw myself onto my bed and pretend I'm just waking up. "Connor, wake up. First day of school, honey." I groan and sit upright.

"I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay, hon." She sniffs. "Your room smells like pot." I sniff in return and say I don't smell anything, which seems to satisfy her. I change into acceptable clothing in case I end up having to go to school anyways, and I run down the stairs, grabbing a frozen waffle to snack on. "Do I have to go to school?" I whine.

"Yes, Connor. It's the first day of your senior year. You have to go."

"But dad..."

"Look at his eyes; he's probably high," Zoe quips.

"Well, I don't want him going to school high," Mum responds, shaking her head.

"Great, then I won't go at all," I scoff with a forceful munch on my frozen waffle. I say this, but internally I plan on going anyways because I want to see Evan, even if we can't really interact. I just want to see his face before I die. I grab my backpack and hoodie off the hook in the entrance and leave the house as soon as Zoe finishes saying she's going to leave without me. Jeez, our house can be chaotic sometimes. I load myself into the car and let Zoe in, though I was debating just letting her walk. Might as well make a good impression during my last week or two here.

As I pull into the school's parking lot, I make sure I look as intimidating as possible. If anyone dares to touch me, I will... Uh... I don't know. Cough flowers on them? Sure. I let Zoe out and exit the car after her. I flick up my hood over my dark, long hair which I grew out over the summer.

As I'm walking from class to class, Jared Kleinman makes a stupid joke about my hair so I give him the deadliest look I can muster. I notice Evan behind him, acting terrified. Jared runs off and Evan laughs a little. He begins to say something, but I have to keep up my mean stoner boy act. I call him a freak and shove him as gently as possible, trying not to further injure his arm, but I underestimate my own strength. He falls to the floor and I mutter a quick and silent "Sorry, I love you." Which he doesn't hear.

The day goes on as most first days go. I somehow don't have another vomiting episode at all, just a little coughing here and there. When it ends, I meet Zoe in front of my car and drop her at the house saying I'm going out and won't be back for the night.