He disappears. The chosen one. So Elle decides to move on. Meet other people. Ups and Downs but no one really compared to him.
After days, he returns. She muses to him her frustrations of how she'd thought he'd left and tells him the extent but doesn't necessarily say so seriously. Half-joking but maybe he took it that way.
"Strike one." He says. "Red flags." He explains.
Elle is taken aback — he hasn't gotten off Scott free either since there was no indication that he would leave. Is he being serious or does her concern and clinginess overwhelm him.
Perhaps...
Perhaps...
She blamed herself. It's her fault for taking it all so seriously. But what's the difference between being chilled and letting someone walk all over you? She doesn't know.
She's tired.
Tired of worrying about everybody. Tired of waiting for that somebody.
She's angry.
Angry about how seriously she takes everything.
She wants to cry.
Cry because it's not easy to stop caring. Stop wishing. Stop hoping.
"My friends don't care about not having another rower. It doesn't matter to them even if it hurts. So why can't I ignore mine? Why??? I'm trying so hard to distract myself! Just leave me alone! I DON'T NEED ANOTHER ROWER!"
She screams at the empty seat opposite her.
"I have my friends....these new experiences...but no matter where I go, the same tape plays over and over but in a different form..."
She's tired.
"I don't want to care anymore. Want anymore."
She's tired.
"Maybe..."
Crybaby.
"Maybe if someone breaks me, I just won't feel anymore.."
