Flip (Alyden)

14

D E N ' S

When Alyssa dropped me off, all I can think about is how I'm letting her in to my life. The mere fact na hinahayaan ko sya gawin yung mga bagay na ginagawa nya ngayon makes me think kung bakit ko ba sya pinapayagan.

When she demanded na sasama sya sakin sa bar, naalala ko si Myco. How he saw every bits and parts of me and loved me the same. Di ko alam kung ano mas nakakatakot, yung makita ni Alyssa how messed up I am then she gets dissapointed and leave or if she decides to stay. Either way, I'm not ready.

Parang Alyssa is "too okay" for someone who's so messed up. Habang nasa sasakyan kanina ang naiisip ko lang how long has it been na may ibang nagdrive ng sasakyan ko. Si Myco ata yung huli.

Di na ako sanay ng may nanunuyo, ng may nagt'tyaga. Sobrang hard ko kay Alyssa pero I'm this heartless and cold naman talaga eh. Mas okay if she'll get too see this as early as now.

Pero when the ball of sunshine suddenly dims, nagp'panic ako. Yung sobrang saya ni Alyssa pag nakikita nya 'ko and I always find a way to ruin her mood. For some reason nagp'panic ako.

I'm in my condominium, prepping up since aalis ako tonight but all I can think about is Myco and how I missed him.

Kinda thinking of not going out and just stay in bed all night. Mas lulubog ako sa ala-ala ni Myco.

He was my whole world. My ball of sunshine. My yesterday, today and my tomorrow.

When I lost him my whole world crashed. I hang on desperately to one night stands, booze, joints and all that shit that they tell us na would break our lives.

What's there to break if I'm already destroyed?

I prepped up and took a grab to Morato. I saw Pocholo serving some drinks in the bar, I walked to him and saw him smile. "Kukuha ako" was the first sentence that I said. I saw him nod and said "Bad day?" he asked.

"Bad life" I answered. "Meron ako dito, mas malakas" He said directly at my ear as the music bangs to my ear.

It got my attention, I desperately need to forget tonight. "Ano yan?"

He answered "Crystal. Heavy 'to den. Good ka for 2 days"

A/N Crystal is Shabu.

"Pass" I told pocholo. Halos patayin nako nila Ella nung nalaman nila na nagm'marijuana ko. What more kapag nalaman nila na naiintake ako ng Shabu. "Bigyan mo na lang ako ng beer para may sense yang mga sinasabi mo" I said to pocholo.

He shrugged it off and handed me a beer and gave a tissue na nakaipit sa loob yung pouch ng Marijuana. Gets na namin yun.

Another night of endless booze and endless fuck buddies. Until I felt my phone vibrated.

An unknown number is calling me. I won't answer it pero I'll text the number kung sino sya kahit na I have an idea on who it is.

The call ended then I saw 5 text messages, all from the same number.

The first text says "Hi", Second one says "Alyssa 'to", third states "Nagp'party ka na?", fourth one says "Nagdala ka ng auto? Please don't drink and drive" and the fifth one says "Text me if you need anything" Unconciously it made me smile on how naturally she's caring.

I decided not to reply tho'. Tonight is the night for me to forget, forget including alyssa. My night life is a different ball game for me. A different dennise.

"Den, ano tara? Solid 'to" I heard pocholo said. If I'll be true, di ko naman alam tama nun eh. "Tigilan mo ko Cholo! Sasapakin kita" I said jokingly.