Painful Love (On Hiatus)

1

"....You are the biggest mistake of my life."

The minute Khushi heard it, she lost it. Her blood boiled and heart pained. Why every time she has to bear all the accusations even without doing anything? Why everytime her self respect is crumbled? Is she not a human? Doesn't she deserve respect? Anger filled in every part of her body.

She grabbed Arnav's arm and with all her might pulled him around to make him face her.

"How dare you?? How dare you say that Arnavji?" She roared "Why did "I" come in your life? YOU CAME IN MY LIFE, and because of you that Shyam came in my life and ruined it. Because of you I had to suffer and had to leave Lucknow JUST BECAUSE OF YOUR EGO. The reason your sister's condition is this today is not because of me but because of you Mr. ASR. You have made me miserable and made me suffer right from the time we met. Because of you my family was degraded. Just because of your misunderstanding I had to suffer these six months when I didn't do anything but be loyal to you. Is this how you treat my loyalty? Every second I beared that filthy Shyam in this house just because of you and your sister." She shouted venting out all her pain and frustration.

She grabbed his collar and pulled him closer harshly "And despite of that, here I am, with you. Despite of all the pain you have given me I love you... even when this love hurts me every second. Every second my guts wrench to see your ignorance towards me. I am ashamed of myself that I love you and I am ashamed of myself that I let my self respect doom because of your love."

She left it with a push making Arnav stumble a litte "Did you hear? I am ashamed of this love. AND YES LOVING YOU WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE MR. ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA."

She shouted and let out all her anger and pain and tears. Her eyes were red and she was breathing heavily because she said all that in one go.

Arnav looked at her with wide eyes and open mouth. He couldn't believe his ears and her words. She was ashamed of their love? She was ashamed of loving me?

He felt numb when all her words pricked his heart like fine thorns. Doesn't she know that he loves her madly? Doesn't she know that he cannot love without her? Doesn't she know about all his insecurities? Then how can she accuse her?

Guess somebody got the taste of their own medicine. His conscience mocked.

A huge lump formed in his throat on realizing how does it feel to be on the other side, to be accused, to be blamed and disgusted. And whom was he kidding? He very well knew that Khushi was absolutely right. Right from the time they met he is giving her nothing but pain.

She should have done this long before.. he thought. But he cannot let her go. No no no not in his wildest of dreams. He will do anything to be with her he literally cannot love without her, he will die. He will apologize and do anything that she wants, but HE CANNOT LET HER GO.

His heart started thumping violently just at the thought of it. He was still looking at her with shocked eyes and watched her panting heavily. He has to do something to woo her back.

"Khushi listen to me.. I." He held her arms only to be shrugged off by Khushi.

"What? You are sorry right? You will say you didn't mean it isn't it? Whats new Arnav Singh Raizada? You do this every damn time and I have to forgive you for crumbling my self respect under shoe, just because I Love you? I am sorry but my love isn't a weakness anymore, it is my power now. I won't let my self esteem doom because of you Arnav Singh Raizada."

Arnav felt ashamed of himself when he heard all of that. All of that was true. But he has to repair the damage, he cannot let her go hell no neverrrrr..

"Khushi, listen to me this one time please. I beg you please." Arnav pleaded with sloght moisture in his eyes.

"Remember when I pleaded so much to explain about the whole Shyam truth? Haha You didn't even look at me, why should I listen to you then?" She mocked giving him another guilt.

"I am the biggest mistake of your life right? Then why should I even live with you? Congratulations I am leaving your house and your life forever. Enjoy with your sister and keep her happy." With that she turned around to leave.

Arnav just lost it hearing the word 'leaving'. Rage filled his body and he clenched his jaw. He held her arm, turned her around and pinned her to the wall with his ever so strong grip on her wrists.

"What the hell are you doing, LEAVE ME." She shouted struggling to free herself from his hold.

"SHUT UP. I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP." He shouted with red eyes and his ASR mode was on.

Khushi flinch a little when he shouted because his face was just inches away from hers, but she masked it immediately.

"You... in no circumstances I am letting you leave me, did you understand? I AM NOT LETTING YOU FUCKING LEAVE MY LIFE forget about forever not even for a minute.
You are mine Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada and you will always be mine. Did you understand?" A certain kind of madness and obsession was there in his eyes.

Khushi looked at him in shock. She had never seen so much possession and obsession in his eyes. But she cannot melt right now. She cannot let her self esteem degrade one more time. She cannot be taken for granted again.

"Who the hell are you to order me like that? I'll do whatever I want you are no one to me. Now leave me, Just..." She started struggling again but obviously failed.

"Who am I? I am your husband dammit. I won't let you leave me do whatever the hell you want KKGSR." Arnav said with more determination.

"Husband? Hahaha.. you have made this a joke, haven't you? All this doesn't even mean anything to you. You are just a selfish man who needs to satisfy his ego, and nothing else. What is our relation despiteof this 6 months contract marriage? Nothing.. you dont even love anybody more than your ego." Khushi spit all the poisonous words at him making his anger grow every second.

"The relation of love Khushi, I LOVE YOU GOD DAMMIT WHY DONT YOU UNDERSTAND. " He shouted his heart out helding her arms even tighter.

Khushi felt numb hearing that. Her eyes popped out and her mouth formed a perfect O shape in shock. Yes she knew he loves her but didn't know he would confess like this. She wont lie but her heart was dancing and a current ran down her spine hearing it.

Yes he loves you but he is not sorry for everything he did. He just wants you because of all his selfish reasons. If  you melt here you'll kill your self respect yet again. Her mind interrupted in her happiness. Well it was right she has to be selfish she can't let go his insults everytime just because he claims to love her.. no she won't do that mistake again.

"I know you love me, but you don't respect me Arnavji. You are with me only when you want me, but what about me? I am not here to bear your insults. You only claim to love me but you never ever made me feel that. Forget about making me feel loved, you insult my love and self respect every damn time. I am not going to tolerate this again or else I will fall in my own eyes." She said in a painful and broke voice.

Arnav's heart broke into millions of pieces hearing that. What has he done to his angel. Wasn't she absolutely right? Well she is. But he'll mend it. He'll mend every damn damage and make her feel loved..

"Khushi, listen to me please. Please look at me." Arnav pleaded when Khushi averted her face, looking away.

"You are not leaving me thats it.. I'll mend every damn thing I promise." He said.

And Khushi immediately looked at him helplessly and tired because now she doesn't have any energy to retort back.

"Please answer me, Khushi." Arnav pleaded yet again, their faces still only inches away and they were breathing heavily. One was in hope of getting another and the other was in dilemma between her love and self esteem.

Hello guys.. I am up with another story. I dont know if its gonna be TS or SS but I guarantee you that its gonna be worth reading. Please do read and share your views.

Also tell me what do you think Khushi will decide?

Thank you for reading ❤