She Is Beautiful

Seventeen

Seventeen
Dresses

Alona dragged her chair from her study table towards her window, the icy wind beating aggressively against the pane. Taking her Adventure Time blanket from her bed, she sat cross-legged. She wrapped the cover around her, her chin resting on her hands propped on the windowsill. It was rather a quiet night for her. Even with the howling wind, no noise can seem to penetrate her shut ears and restless mind. She had said no to Charles. Not a straight no, but that typical beating around the bush. After she had talked to Sander, their doorbell rang. She had just gone to the kitchen for water, did not take long from their door, but she refused to get the door thinking that it was Sander.

It was Lawrence, who rushed down the stairs, who opened the door.

"I think I like you."

It sounded too good to be true that Alona did not react.

Charles pressed his hand against his thigh. "Forget that. It's not that I think I like you. I think I am sure I like you. No, no. I am sure I like you."

Alona just stared. And said softly after thinking, "I'm sorry."

It would be a lie to say that Alona completely believed in Charles and in his sincerity. It was true that Alona believed him, but there was still that fraction that didn't. What if he was another kind of the countless people whom she met and who pretended they liked her? Like Sander?

"I don't know if it was just me, but you seemed to ignore me last time," Alona had said when Charles showed no indication of getting up from the sofa and leaving.

"You ignored me too."

"Because you ignored me first." Thinking that Charles might misunderstand it as just returning what was given, she added, "I thought you no longer wished to associate yourself with me."

"I thought the same. I saw you with Henry last time and I thought you would like it more if you're with him, not with me."

Lawrence asking Charles to stay for dinner interrupted them. Charles thanked him but declined for he still had some packing to do.

The unrelenting blustering of the last of autumn gale winded up Alona's thoughts. Walking away from the window, she took out her small suitcase, zipped it open and one by one, lifted the dresses she had folded and compressed into the small space years ago. Her Mom gifted them to her for her every birthday, but she never wore them. The only time, the first and last time she wore one of them was right after she was done with preschool.

She found it. Buried under the very last dress was the studded bracelet Charles had tossed onto her lap that last Christmas. She slipped the bracelet through her wrist. To think that a day will come that she will treasure the bracelet, that it will hold a special place in her heart, she did not imagine it.

Alona woke up early at dawn to prepare breakfast, to cook and pack her Mom's lunch. She was telling herself that she should have done these little things long ago. Long ago, she should have noticed how her Mom works overtime and how she always came home tired yet she would still cook for them.

When her Mom got up that morning, smiling at the mug of brewed black coffee and the tray of freshly made ciambella she had loaded with strawberry jam, Alona liked it how her Mom's face lit up. She hugged her good morning and said, "You're the most beautiful, best mother out there ever, Mom. Thank you for being our mother."

Mrs. Ryans embraced her daughter more tightly. "Do well in school. Don't mess around."

Alona nodded on her mother's chest.

Just before she went out of the house to catch the bus, she pulled her small suitcase out once again. She changed to her black overall dress, wearing an oversized nude sweater underneath and thick black leggings to keep her warm. Wearing her boots and her parka last, she whistled her way to the school.