Reese Witherspoon?

Wake up in the morning feeling like Reese Withy

My sleep dreams get CANCELLED with the alarm clocking in at high volume.
"5 MORE minutes" yawnily I roar. "At least the day is FRIDAY..." But little did I knew it was going to turn out Freaky Froday!

Now I reach to get my mobile device. But what? Can't REACH the Mobile Devase? What?
"How IS this possible" cry I out. But my VOCALS.... is all WOMAN??! Now my arms are short! Voice femail?! My head waterfalls out the LONG Blonde HAIR? ?

Are you kiding me
Is this another "Punk" delevered by ASHTON Kutcher

I rush this woman cadaver surprise swiftly out of bed. Mirror time!
"Hmmmm," examine I vicariously, "women."
Perchance it DOES the fault of the liberal media  punping our FOOD full of ASTROGEN HORMONES? Possible! Possible!

"Have I not seen these bodies before? Though?" puzzle I. "It does bear a strong 'resemblanche' to famous Hollywood movie star REESE WITHERSPOON.
"Have I indeed become Reese Witherspoon??" blasts the question through my Reese Witherbrain. So hard to tell... all these disney channel starlets identical nowadays.

I am choiceless. Today I must live the Reese Witherspoon life. First order if business... getting dressed.

"How what the FUCK does this BRASSIERE even FUNCTION" wrestle I for a good 20 MINUTES with the mission impossible garment.
"Gold DAMN millions of tiny hooks! Amd clips?!" It will not be a success. I duct tape my bra shut. Being woman is not being wo"fun!"

1 HOUR LATER

Strutting on the high lady heels I'm off to the job employment. Can not positively identify my very own body- infuriation! I keep attempting to put together these Reese's Pieces.
"Hey don't I know you?" hollers some kinda dude at me, "from CINEMA?"
"Yeah MAYBE," I reholler, "who am I  look like according to you?"
"Jenefer Lawrence? 'J-Law'?" the man ventures. "Or Jenifir Aniston? 'J-Ans'??"

wait what the hack

"You mean I'm NOT Reese Witherspoon!?" I shout.
"Oh yeah... possibly!"
Now this joker had been truly use less. Yet I have an idea!

If I'm am Reese Witherspoon...
....then Reese Witherspoon's is I!

Of COURSE. All everything makes so much sense now. Mission: Reach Witherspoon's house!

1 HOUR LATER

My reese Fingerspoon hits the door bell. Yes I hear noisy coming in the house... Will MY body open the door?! This door a-swings WIDE open and....

It is Reese Witherspoon there.

wait
QUE el JUECK

"I do NOT beReese my eyes!" indignified I shout in her famous visage. "If you are you than who am me?!?"
"I don't know," replies Reese Witherspoon "but I'm calling security now."
"No but WAIT!" beg I, "Look! I am exactly your doppelgangster!"
"Not really," shrugs Reese, "you kinda look like a fat Dakota Fanning. Dakota Fatting is what you look like," cruel Reese Winterpoon tells to me. And she JAMS the door SHUT.

So dejected I leave the Reese Withersproperty. Imposible HEELS can NOT even walk good- I throw the heels off! And pull out my telephone for calling a taxi cab...

"CNN BREAKING NEWS ALART"

tells my notifications screen now. What could this be then?

"LIBERAL MEDIA CAUGHT INSETING ESTROGAN IN ALL FOOD"

I KNEW it.