Life after love

The beginning of it all

Dear Diary,

Back again! I'll start at the beginning nearly 3 years ago, it was September I'd just started year 9 and each class was different to the years before when we'd been in forms, they were mixed I'd have to make new friends which I didn't feel very comfortable to do.

My first RE lesson I was placed next to a tall, skinny boy who looked just like a pencil really, everyone thought he was disgusting and I'd never met him before so went off of their words; he turned to me and scribbled over my page! FRUSTRATION! I am such a neat freak he laughed and that wasn't a great first impression, we had to sit next to each other the next lesson too which was PSE but luckily my best friend Sharon was with me too and we got to pick seats!! That eye contact you make with your friend when the teacher says pick a partner is the exact look me and Sharon exchanged as we entered the classroom, it was too good to be true, well it definitely turned out to be as Miss Mason then turned around and said "sit boy,girl,boy, girl though please." I rolled my eyes and me and Sharon sat with a seat in between us so we could still communicate through glances and giggles, that's when he walked in with one of my dear friends Dan. Dan sat to the left of me and the annoying boy sat to my right in between me and Sharon- bear in mind I didn't even know his name yet. He smiled at me and was less dickish than before which I was glad about!

This was the day life as I knew it changed, little did I know he was going to become the most important figure in my life for two consecutive years, although the impact he had on my life was mainly negative; I adored him and he stepped all over me as if I was an ant on his farm, the way he ended our time together and the last conversation we had has taught me a lot about his true character and showed me how rude and disgusting he truly is, just like how everyone first described him to me! The way I describe him makes people wonder is he some tall, handsome and intelligent man? NO, when I first met him in that RE lesson he was only a few inches taller than I was, the most annoying and loud boy I'd ever had the 'pleasure' to meet and dare I say it he definitely wasn't roguishly handsome as I can sometimes point him out to be.

So there I was, sat next to this mysterious stranger who'd originally annoyed me in our first lesson together, but who isn't drawn in by an unfamiliar aura? During the lesson I leaned over and spoke to Sharon, I rested my arms on his legs! (Weird thing to do I know!) "you alright there?" He lightly chuckled whilst retrieving gum from his bag. "Dandy thanks.., you're really comfortable, but I'm sorry this is a bit close for people who haven't met isn't it?" I said this whilst I sat up ashamedly. He just gently pulled my arms back into him and I basically sat sprawled across him that lesson whilst joking with him and Sharon. This was the first time I'd ever like thought of this guy and for some reason I couldn't lift the smile off my face, I wanted to talk to him again  and again but alas I had the tendency to daydream so I'd already basically picked my wedding colours out after this brief conversation.

My thoughts spiralled for days after my random interactions that day, he seemed to make everything better and more fun so I decided to 'stalk' him if you will, have a little search on the gram, find out his passions and monitor his selfie taking skills. I found his page and we weren't following each other, creating a small anxiety problem for me, do I request to follow him? Or do I leave it? Well you can guess what I did! If you know me or have had any conversations about me with my friends you'll know I'm fearless in the boy department even though I didn't feel it at that point in time, I was feeling secluded and timid compared to the rollercoaster ride I'd later endure....

CLICK! I hit the request button and my heart fluttered, almost instantly though my request was accepted, which made me smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat, I WAS IN! He even requested to follow me back, his Instagram was ok.. not going to lie it did put me off a little but looking back now mine wasn't the best, his selfie skills were shocking there was no selfies! How boring? The bio however, did tell me his snapchat and I mean I guess it was time to go into stalker phase 2, because yes i did befriend him on Snapchat and yes I did message him after that!

From that day on the door for a relationship to bloom was opened and we became besotted with each other, we kept our relationship under wraps and were on and off for nearly 2 years. The day it ended felt like the worst day of my entire life and I became so very lost after that day! He ended things because I went to a party and flirted with a guy I'd only just met and sat on his lap due to an argument we had previously- one of the biggest regrets of my years I'd say!

So there's section 1, what happened to cause my mini breakdown- I'll leave it for today but breakdown details still to come!

Signing off
Prim x