Strawberries & Cigarettes

Strawberries & Cigarettes (Part 2)

I woke up by the sound of a sliding door being opened and closed softly. I looked around and realised that I'm in P' Kim's room and lying in his bed. I must be fall asleep on the couch and one of the P's carrying me here. I catch a small sound from a balcony. I get up from the bed and walk toward the sliding door and surprised when I find P' Kim leaning on the balcony fence while smoking. I silently open the sliding door.

"I don't know you smoke."

P' Kim turned to look at me and smile.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?"

I shook my head and stand beside him.

"Where's the other?"

"Asleep."

"Why are you still awake?"

He shrugged his shoulder.

"I can't sleep."

"Is there something bothering you?"

He laughed.

"Since when you become nosy? Maybe you spend too much time with Tee."

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm just worried."

He looked at me for a while and give me a warm smile, make my heart skip a beat.

"Thank you."

I take a look at his figure beside me. I keep thinking that strawberry candy fit his image the best. He's so sweet, caring, and gentle. No matter how playful he is, he always take care of us before himself. I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, that's why I silently watch him, waiting for my feeling to finally fade away even just for a little. For at least give me a chance to breath. But while watching P' Kim pout his lips to make smoke rings, I realised I have to start to think over my view about everything. He still looked so breathtaking, handsome and hot. It only make me fall in love with him more. I wonder how his lips taste after he smoke. I feel my face hot when thinking about it.

"Stop staring. You'll make me blush."

"I'm not staring!"

"Stop lying. I know I look hot when I'm smoking."

"You're so full of yourself. And stop smoking, Uncle! You'll dead."

I nag him when he about to pull out his second cigarette. I take the box from his hand and put it in my sweater pocket.

"I'm trying. That's why I always carry candies with me. It help the craving. But sometimes when I stressed out, I just can't help it and smoke one or two."

He told me. He sigh and taking a strawberry candy from his pocket, opened it and feed me, then opened another one for himself.

"So, you do have something that bothering you."

He give me a playful smile.

"Maybe."

"Tell me. Is this about your girlfriend? Are you two have a fight?"

"I don't have a girlfriend. Not anymore. We already broke up."

"What? Why? When?"

"It's been a few months."

I frowned. Try to recall if any of P's has mention it to him. Even though I'm sure that even if they did, I'll never miss that information.

"Why you never told me?"

"You never asked."

I looked at him with guilty. He always been there for me when I need him. He can make me smile when anyone else can't. I rely on him so much when I'm having a hard time. But I don't even know when he have a problem with his girlfriend. And my reason never asked him about his relationship is simply because I'm afraid to hear how happy they are. Because it will hurt me to hear that I'm not the one who makes him happy. Now I'm realised how selfish I am.