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Roger was deeply scared to see John in this condition.
He didn't blink, nor did he answer his questions - the drummer had never seen anything like this before.
The two kept sitting next to each other in silence for a while until John said:
"Please throw away my shaving knife."
"What?" Roger was confused. His shaving knife? It was almost new and also a present from Freddie.
"You heard me. Just do it. Maybe I'll explain it later."
Roger rose from the cold floor and eventually walked through the apartment to get the knife.
It was stored in the mirrored cupboard above the sink in John's bathroom. John kept it in a flat, high-quality metal box.
Roger knew that it had a special place in his boyfriends heart, so he really couldn't understand why he wanted it to be thrown away.
Nevertheless, he took it and went to John again.
He wanted to throw it in the trash bin in the kitchen, but John stopped him.
"Thrash it in one of the public bins. I can't have it in my flat at the moment."
Roger didn't reply and instead pressed his lips against the top of Deakys head.
He continued to slip on his pink, glittery shoes and made his way down to the street.
Debating whether or whether not to throw away the knife, he stood in front of the trash can.
Roger inspected it, he opened the box and found a silver blade with a gilded handle. On the backside of the blade was 'for my dearest Deaky, love, Freddie' engraved.
"There's no way I'm gonna throw this away." Roger said and earned a few weirded out looks from people walking past him. They probably thought he was some crazy person talking to himself.
He looked at them as they passed by and tried to have a frightening expression on his face.

When Roger arrived again in John's flat - the shaving knife hidden in his back pocket - his boyfriend was strumming on his bass.
He always did, when he needed to calm down. John noticed Roger walking in and smiled at him.
"Thank you."
He then continued to let his fingers glide over the strings of the bass guitar, while strumming them softly with his other hand.
"What's this?" Roger asked and flopped onto the sofa, forgetting that he had the knife in his trousers. He ignored the pain shooting up his spine as the box hit his backer pelvic bone, though it was really hard not to scream.
"The bass line for the song I am writing on. Do you like it?"
The drummer nodded and bit his lips.
"Johnny-"
"Don't call me like that!" John laughed.
"John, I really don't want to, but I need to go home today."
The bassist stopped playing and put his instrument away. He joined Roger on the sofa.
John's face was filled with pure disappointment.
"Please, don't look at me like that! You know that I don't have any clean clothes anymore. And I need to water my plants!"
John bit his lip and looked down.
"Yeah, I know." He shifted barely noticeable away from Roger.
"It's just a bit hard for me. I mean, I had my first time and shit. And this I don't know what it was."
Roger agreed with his boyfriend. He knew how John must be feeling but he still needed to get some clean clothes.
The blonde cleared his throat.
"You can come with me if you want."
John wasn't surprised by Roger's offer, and didn't bother acting like he was.
He simply shook his head.
"I don't really feel like leaving my flat today."
Roger got closer to John and looked into his eyes. Then he hugged him.
"I love you."
Deaky smiled and replied with the same phrase before pulling back a little and kissing the drummer.
It was just a small, short kiss on the lips but it was just as intimate as anything other they had done before.
"I really love you." Roger said a second time.
"I would do anything for you."
The smile on John's face grew bigger.
"I know." He said.

A good two hours later Roger arrived at home.
His apartment was way smaller than Johns or Brian's - his bedroom was his living room at the same time.
"Hello Honey!" He loudly exclaimed when he unlocked the door and stepped in.
It was addressed to the huge photography of his car hanging above the bed/sofa.
Due to his smoking, it had gotten a little yellow on the edges, but he loved it nevertheless.
When Roger first bought the car, he asked Brian to take a picture of it, because he was the only one who could properly use a camera.
He then went to the printer shop and got the largest print available made.
It was quite expensive, but - for him - worth it.
The picture obviously didn't responded to him. Roger imagined it to say: "Welcome home, baby!" and giggled at his own thoughts.
He immediately started to undress on his way to the bathroom.
As he took off his trousers, the metal box fell on the floor. It made an extremely loud noise, causing Roger to jump in shock and almost trip.
His feet were still tangled in the legs of his pants, but he could catch himself before falling down.
He had totally forgotten about it.
The drummer kicked his pants off and picked the box up to place it on the shelf.
He still asked himself why John wanted it to be thrown away.
Did he want to grow a beard? Roger hoped that he was wrong. Deaky with a beard? Hell no.
But John had to live with his sideburns, that means Roger couldn't say anything against his facial-hair-decisions.
Roger looked down and remembered wearing John's underwear just as he pulled them off.
He decided to keep it.

The warm water was running down from Roger's shoulders, across his back to his legs.
God, it felt good to be home again.
Not that he didn't like to spent time with Deaky, but he kind of liked his tiny flat more than John's large one.
The drummers thoughts wandered from John's shaving knife, to the weird state he had been in to the sex they had had earlier this day.
John was so hot and good, it bugged him that his boyfriend denied a second round.
A loop of John's moans played in Roger's head and he couldn't do anything about it.
Cars, cars, cars!
Shit, that didn't help.
Freddie coming into our bedroom during sex, Freddie coming in during - ew! Freddie coming in during sex!
Roger successfully dodged a boner.
He quickly dried himself off and changed into something clean.
Fuck, he already missed John!

The bassist was home, sitting on the couch and wrapped in thick blankets.
Now that he was alone, new ideas for 'You And I' came to his mind.
He rephrased the chorus a little bit and then finished the lyrics with a repitition of the title of the song.
John wanted to hear if it turned out as he imagined and tried to get his bass by stretching his arm out, but he couldn't reach it.
"Ugh."
He was too lazy to get up so he forgot about the bass and instead just quietly sang it to himself.
John didn't sound too bad, did he?
Deaky
was actually very proud of his work. It really reminded him of Roger and their relationship - which was exactly what he wanted.

Freddie brought Brian home after that unfortunate incident.
It was harder that he had thought - if he had even thought about it.
Both were drunk and Freddie was maybe high (he couldn't actually remember taking something, but he sure felt like he did).
But in the end they successfully arrived at Brian's flat.
The two didn't talk very much that evening anymore.
Both were okay with it and they passed out soon anyway.

---

This fanfiction is going to be updated even more infrequently than it already is because my finals are getting closer (actually there are still three months or so, but my anxiety is already kicking in).
If you want to read more stuff written by me, my one shot book would be an option. But beware, it's smut :)

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