The Umbrella Academy x Reader - Oneshots

Five x Reader - Wingmen

Word count: 1 713
Summary: Five's brothers try to set him up with the beautiful server in Griddy's Doughnuts

"Come on, we're seventeen now, you can't tell me you've never even had a crush on anyone," Klaus exclaims, flinging his feet onto the table.

"He's right, Five," Luther agrees, "It does sound kind of odd."

"Maybe I'm aromantic," Five suggests calmly, poking the glaze of his untouched donut.

"Yeah, maybe you are, but... I don't think so," Diego agrees with his brothers.

"I mean, Luther obviously has a crush on Allison," Ben continued the discussion, brushing Klaus' feet off the table. "Diego totally has a thing for that girl scout, who always sells the cookies down the street from the academy," Diego protested under his breath, but kept quiet otherwise, "Klaus has made out with three different people, and that was last month alone,"

"Does that count though," Five jumped in.

"It does have a romantic component," Klaus defended, "the acceptation that something like true love doesn't exist, and still chasing the fleeting feeling of sharing the breath of another-"

"And even I've gotten my heart broken," Ben continued as if he had not been interrupted at all.

Five sighed, knowing that his brothers, once again, were unstoppable in their mission of getting him into trouble.

His eyes wandered over to the young person who was standing behind the counter of the donut shop. They were hardly older than him, if at all, and wore the pink apron with the logo of the shop.

It was Tuesday night, and the brothers had stolen away softly, after Mom had checked on them for the night. It was not the first time they had done that, and most of the times their sisters were with them as well, but Vanya had insisted she wanted to play some violin, and Allison had an audition tomorrow morning, so she had declined the boys' offer to join them. Now the five of them were sitting in a booth at their favorite donut shop. It was sparely visited at this time of day, or rather night, and the young person who was currently working to clean the coffee machine, was the only employee of the evening.

"Sooo, what is your type," Luther asked, reminding Five not to stare at the person across the room.

"What?"

"Your type, what do you like about girls," Luther continued.

"Or boys," Klaus added.

"Or boys, yes," Luther corrected himself.

"I- I don't have a type," Five answered, looking bewildered at his brothers.

"Come on," Diego groaned, "What do you think is attractive? Long hair, short hair, dark hair, light hair, brown eyes, green eyes, blue eyes, curls, bangs-"

"I can describe a person very well on my own, thank you," Five hissed, resisting the urge to look across the room again.

"So?" Ben leant forward, as if he expected Five to share a secret with them.

"I don't have a type," Five shrugged, leaning back, finally taking a bite out of his donut, and chewing contently on the sugary treat.

"Can I get you guys anything else?"

Your sweet voice made Five's head shoot around, before he realized that this might give away his little crush on you, which he did his best to conceal in front of his brothers. But he felt like he was doing a terrible job.

"Can I have one more of the chocolate donuts," Ben asked, and you nodded while collecting the empty plates.

"And I'll take the trippy-est donut you have," Klaus added, making everyone at the table roll their eyes.