Deserter

NINETEEN

DAY TWO OF OVERLOAD WEEK

{Chapter Triggers: a lot of discussion of a character death, a bit of suicidal talk (nothing specifically mentioned), mauling (bear), arkoudaphobia (fear of bears). Those are all I can think of/figure out from reading through the chapter, I apologize if I missed any and feel free to inform me.}

"Patton, can I ask you something?"

The second day, they'd set up camp early because of a group on the road ahead of them. Virgil insisted they made him uneasy, so he and Patton retreated a ways and slipped into the forest, to a nearby clearing. Shouting had risen from the area the group had been about an hours time ago, but neither man had suggested finding out what happened.

Patton looked up, offering a smile. "You just did."

Virgil grunted, looking unamused. The healer nodded for him to go ahead.

"What is that book you were looking at yesterday?"

Patton flinched, caught of guard, and Virgil sat up sharply.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry-"

"No, no, it's fine." The healer sighed softly. He shifted so that he could pull the book carefully from his pocket. After a moment of hesitation, he offered it to Virgil for the prince to look at it.

Virgil took it gently, inspecting the cover. He ran a finger over the name, reading it aloud.

"Adekin... your surname, if I remember correctly?" He looked up at Patton.

The older man nodded quietly, his eyes staying on the book. Virgil leaned over and handed it back without opening it. He assumed what was inside was private, and he wasn't going to pry in on that.

Patton took the book and placed it in his lap, gently running his fingertip along the edge of the cover. "It is... it was my son's."

Virgil nodded slowly, not saying anything. For a moment the clearing was silent.

He sort of remembered Micah, from the years he had spent at the castle. A bouncy, grinning boy running around the infirmary, giggling when the healers half-heartedly chastised him. Playing tag with the other children in the courtyard (Virgil had never joined in, but he often sat on one of the lower balconies and watched) and singing loudly as he raced away from his friends.

"He was the same age as you, you know." Patton murmured, opening the book and carefully paging through it. "If you'd both stayed around, I think you could have been friends."

"What..." Virgil paused, not sure if he should ask the question. Then he steeled himself and did it anyway. "What happened to him?"

Patton pocketed the book and sighed, staring into the fire. he didn't say anything for a moment.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"It's fine, Virgil, really." The healer fiddled with the ring on his finger as he spoke. "He died, a year after you ran away from the castle... He was a curious, adventurous boy, and he had convinced me to let him go on a day trip with a couple servants that were going to market."

Patton took a shaky breath and Virgil hid a grimace. He hadn't meant to make the man cry.

"He never returned... the servants told me what happened. Micah was always quick to make friends, he'd found some boys his age in the market and they went to explore a field outside the town." He shook his head. "There was... there was a bear. Micah was always a fast runner but- he- he tripped."

Virgil's stomach began to twist as Patton told the story. He stayed silent as a painfully familiar memory pushed its way to the forefront of his mind.

"They didn't find his body." Patton sighed. "We held a funeral, and his mother barely made it through. She passed not long after, and I've been by myself since."

"Patton I... I am so sorry."

Patton waved a hand. "I've had time. It hurts, but I can't bottle it up forever."

"No you don't understand-" Virgil sat up, feeling horror twisting in his chest. "I- I was there."

"What?"

The prince closed his eyes, screwing his face up as the memory replayed in his mind. Screams, a huge animal snarling. He'd been frozen to his spot in the woods a few meters off.

"I was in town, trying to find something out about Thomas. I heard the bear and hid- I've been terrified of them since I was a child. I heard others shouting, but I never made the connection between your son and the name they were yelling."

His hand dropped to his hip absentmindedly as he opened his eyes. "I... I had my crossbow. I should have done something. But I couldn't make myself move."

Patton slowly moved out of his seat, walking over to Virgil. The prince flinched away from him, hunched in on himself, but Patton just sat down next to him and gently pulled him into a hug.

"The past is the past, Virgil. We can't change it, no matter how much we want to."

Virgil leaned against him slowly, shivering at a cold breeze that suddenly picked up and raced through the trees. "I wish I had done something."

"Do you know how many times I've wished I could trade myself for Micah? Bring my little boy back to the world he should have grown up in?" Patton sighed, looking up at the dark sky. "I would do anything to hear his laugh again."

Virgil nodded quietly, closing his eyes. Usually he refused physical interaction point blank, but something about the situation and Patton's gentle personality seemed to call for it, and he couldn't lie to himself that it wasn't comforting.

"But life doesn't work like that. Micah is gone, so is Lila, and I've promised myself that I'm going to live in a way that honors their memory."

They sat there in silence for several minutes, Virgil leaning into Patton's embrace and the healer staring absentmindedly at the fire flickering out slowly in front of them.

"I'm not going to push anymore." Patton finally said quietly.

"Hmm?" The prince lifted his head, blinking. He looked exhausted suddenly.

"You want to get out of the country. Away from the life you left behind a long time ago." Patton messed his hair up gently, smiling. "I'll go with you to Rounne, see you off. It's the least I can do for you and Thomas."

Virgil raised his eyebrows, a smile forming. "Just Thomas? Roman would have a heart attack if he heard you say that."

"I've been taking care of him since before he could even speak, I'm allowed to just call him Thomas occasionally. You too, Little Virgey."

Virgil groaned and pulled himself out of Patton's embrace. "I always hated that nickname."

Patton laughed and laid out on his back. "I thought it was cute."

{I'm being so mean to Patton in this story, I'm sorry. Tragic backstories are my forte}