falling in love with your best friend is acceptable

To Nathan, With Love

To Nathan, 

I want you to know I wasn't great with expressing my feelings in words back then and am probably still a bit rusty. Luckily, since things are less chaotic now, I can write what I want to say clearly. Nevertheless, this letter might send you running for the hills.

I guess I don't have a lot of high hopes. The old me rarely got eager for anything---to be honest, it was better to not anticipate for much than being smacked with bitter disappointment, to avoid drowning in self-pity. However, I might've condoned self-pity that way or another.

But I won't dwell on it further. That chapter in my life, especially with Todd, is shredded and burnt into non-existence.

Deep, huh?

Well, it's true. I've never been happier. Like coming-out-of-the-rain happy---whatever else I describe emphasizes this immense happiness. And you make me happy.

As far as cheesy love confessions go, you're still my best friend (and much more). Last time I checked, falling in love with your best friend is acceptable. Absolutely nothing became awkward since last night, which could've gone either way and end with you taking me to bed...

Just kidding! Don't you go getting any ideas, mister.

But really I enjoyed our date.

Drive-in theaters never go out of style. This one in particular, The Circle: an A+ choice.

The big white sheet complimented the moving imagery as there was no static or unwanted interruptions via glitches, and the colors were vivid and in good condition. I love pictures, animated or stagnant, and being able to see them.

Heathers was showing, which you described as Pretty in Pink's evil stepsister. Originally you dismissed it as another trashy teen flick but later gave it an OK. Heathers is also my top favorite.

Sharing a tub of buttery popcorn and quietly sitting in the dim light---there was no other place I'd rather be.

I remember you saying that date reminded you of the 50s and I asked what about it specifically.

"Well, being in the car at the drive-in," you answered. "And that adorable lipstick you have on while drinking a Coke."

I wore deep scarlet lipstick. The reason I drank my Coke through a straw. Usually I don't bother tarting myself up for no reason (not that I overdo it anyway), but that day called for something different.

Your kiss left me hazy, as if I'm dreaming, and warm. I just set down my beverage to give you an innocent peck on the lips. But afterwards you upped the ante and cupped my cheeks and firmly pressed your mouth against mine. Lingering, slow, gentle, my body stilled and cradled by your arms pulling me into an embrace.

After it ended, I contemplated resting against your shoulder until I sobered at the sight of red smeared across your lips and chuckled.

"You know, that color definitely suits your complexion," I joked, prompting a snort-accompanied laugh from you.

I watched the final hours of Heathers with excitement while your head covertly nestled beside my shoulder.

Little moments like these mean everything to me.

You mean everything to me.

Love, 

Stephanie