I Don't Give A Puck

Chapter 29: Accomplished

At the same time as usual, Fallon dragged me to my therapy.

She was asking me all these questions trying to be nice a friendly, but I was NOT in the mood for some kindness. I was still furious with David. He was lucky I was paralyzed, otherwise I would have grabbed the nearest hockey stick, chased him down and given him a good clubbing on the head.

As nasty as it seemed, I deeply wanted David to have a severe accident that left him without ever being an athlete ever again.

*******

Fucking Alice had to be there, so my day got even worse. I was surrounded by the same old elderly people who 'tsk tsk' at me as I passed by. I didn't need to hear or see them in order to know that they were talking smack about me.

Fallon heaved me up onto the table and started to give me my massage. Laying on my back, I turned my head to see if Chris was nearby, but to no avail.

After the massage, Fallon instructed me to sit up and go over my previous exercise: slowly lifting my leg up, if I could.

"Let me get my clipboard," she said, "I'll be right back." She turned around and quickly shuffled away.

Sighing, I took out my iPod, plugged in my headphones and popped in my earbuds. It was the first time I listened to music during therapy, and immediately all the stress washed away.

'And I'd give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that feel me somehow, you're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now...' John Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls sang.

His whispering voice captured my mind as I closed my eyes and slipped away.

'And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies, when everything feels like the movies, yeah you'd bleed just to know you're alive!'

For some reason, as I sat there, the song brought back memories of my team: Perry, Gio, Shorty, Charter, Pat... Milo... I had told them to persevere though the next game to move on to the next round, no matter how hopeless it seemed. How could I be such a hypocrite, telling them to do the impossible, when I just lay here, lifeless, not even bothering on trying when so much people believed in me? They said I had a chance to maybe, a one in a million chance, to possibly be able to walk with a crutch or walker or something.

No, I was gonna show them. Show them ALL. Alice, David, Amy, whoever said I couldn't or can't I'll show them.

'And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think that they'd understand, when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...'

"C'mon, Cleo," I muttered to myself. I focused everything on my right leg and willed, with all my heart that it would move. It should be simple, lifting a leg, I did this every day.

A sharp burning feeling rocketed up my leg and I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't cry out in pain.

'The doctor said I wasn't completely paralyzed,' I reminded myself, 'the signals sent to my legs are extremely weak, but it's still there. Which means, I can still lift up my legs.

'I just want you know who I am, I just want you to know who I am,' John Rzeznik crooned.

I squeezed my eyes shut and automatically, as if it was instinct, I pictured Milo there, his murky eyes twinkling, his shaggy hair snuggled under a red beanie, a soft smile played across his lips, his tall, gangly figure in front of me.

My hands were trembling as I gripped the side of the bench, pain ricocheting up and down my sickly pale legs.

'I can do it, I can do it, I can do it,' I hissed through my teeth, straining with every breath, picturing Milo standing there.

And then, I felt the feeling of sticky plastic of the table disappear from under my thigh.

My eyes snapped open and I looked down at my right leg, hovering above an inch above the surface of the padded top.

"Ohmygod," I cried, "Ohmygod! Fallon!"

My leg flopped back onto the table with defeat, but I didn't care: I still managed to lift it up.

"Fallon!" I called again, my eyes tearing up with joy, "Ohmygod, yes!"

I pushed myself of the table, momentarily forgetting that I couldn't walk, thus landing on all fours on the floor.

I curled up on the carpet, tears streaming down my face as I cupped my face in my hands and sobbed like never before.

"Thank you Jesus!" I cried, leaning against the wall, my heart pounding as I whipped tears off my cheek.

Fallon rushed over and quickly dropped to my side, "Are you ok, Cleo?" she asked, "Did you fall?"

I shook my head, "I-I l-lifted my my leg!" I choked out.

Her eyes widen in surprise. "Really? Oh my gosh, Cleo! I'm so proud of you!" she sniffed, throwing her arms around me and encompassing me in a hug.

I wrapped my arms around her neck and sobbed loudly on her shoulder, tears and snot flowing onto her purple work uniform.

And there we sat, on the floor. I smiled slowly and closed my eyes. If I kept them closed long enough, I could still picture Milo standing there in front of me, his grin still lingering on his thin lips.