The Boy Movie Brahms Heelshire x reader FanFic

Part 34 - Peace

You wake to find yourself staring into Brahm's eyes.  He's lying on his back, his head turned to watch you.   He has that solemn look on his face; the one he uses when he's thinking, or engrossed in you.  You smile, then lean on one elbow and kiss him gently.    

"Good morning."

He doesn't answer, so you muster a frown.  "Are you feeling OK, Brahms?"

He nods.   Lying back on the pillow, his hair is a soft tousled mass of curls.   At this angle, his scars are not so pronounced, and you marvel at how truly handsome he is.   It breaks your heart over and over to think of what he might have become had his life been different; all the missed potential.   And a part of you wonders too, if he might never have changed underneath; but remained the same dangerous, feral being he is at his core just waiting for the right person to tame him.   Can you truly tame a wild thing, you muse silently.  Or does he just allow it for the right person?

Weak winter sunshine streams through the windows, and you know you've both overslept.  It's nearly midday.

"You've slept right through, Brahms.   Ten hours straight.  And me with you.  But I think we both needed it."

"Will he come back?"

You shake your head.   "I've told you...Elias is a bigger coward than his brother ever was.  He thinks you're dead.  He'll be sleazing his way round the States as we speak."

"If he returns, I'll kill him."

"He won't.  And you won't."  You kiss him again.  This time he responds and you see the desire in his eyes.   But sex is the furthest thing on your mind right now.   It's been banned since he got shot, and you're still not willing to take any risks until he's completely healed.    As though reading your thoughts, he relaxes back onto the bed.  

 "Brahms?  Today, I'm going to see about having new gates installed at the head of the driveway...and some CCTV.  Are you OK with that?"

You watch him nod again, then close his eyes.   His head wound is healing nicely.  He's on the mend.  You glance down at his naked torso, and suppress your own desires.   Just another day or two...  

"Do you feel strong enough to go for a walk today?" you ask him.

Another nod.

The weather is freezing so you both wrap up, then slowly stroll down the grounds to the frozen lake beyond the perimeter walls.    Getting him out of the grounds of the Mansion is a huge step for him.   He helps you clamber over the stile set in the stone wall.  The shore of the lake is thick with reeds rimed with frost; the gravelly shore crunches underfoot.   There's a fallen log on the eastern side.  You both sit and contemplate the beauty of this winter wilderness.   Neither of you speak.   There seems no need.  And there's a comfort in that; it feels natural to both of you. The sun, low in the sky, gleams on the ice before being swallowed by a bank of granite  coloured cloud.  Far off in the distance the mountains are dusted with white.  

"It's going to snow again," you say at last.

You glance at Brahms, but he's staring across the lake.   The air has dropped a few degrees, and you suppress a shiver.  It's hard not to wonder what he's thinking...or to ask.  But you respect his need for emotional privacy; and the fact that most of his life has been spent in an isolation you can't change overnight.   You inhale pure mountain air, then close your eyes.  It's so silent here; so peaceful.   At first you missed the manic bustle of humanity where you lived, belching exhaust fumes, activity, shops, cutthroat work,  and the hungry need for material gain.   Now, that seems a world away, something you no longer  need, or even want anymore.   This place, and being with Brahms, feels like balm for your soul.

Part of you still wonders if you'll ever be enough to control him.  But that's the wrong word.  Nobody can actually control Brahms.  You know that.    What you do is calm him; give him balance and grounding...normality.   For the first time in your life, you're someone else's rock.  The responsibility feels huge and yet, so right.   As though this was something you were meant to do.  You wonder if there's such a thing as reincarnation; the possibility that two souls can be born to live for the singular purpose of mutual learning and support.  How else can you explain how you've come to this; to be thrown here by fate to be with a person so savage and unpredictable he'd terrified you at first.   And now?  Now, you know that he'd die for you if necessary.  He nearly has already.  This thought is so profound, you feel the hot sting of tears and blink savagely.

You raise your chin, tilting  your head back, inhaling deeply in an effort to banish your emotions.   As you exhale, you feel the warmth of Brahms's hand as it steals into yours.  You squeeze.  He squeezes back.    You lay your head on his shoulder, snuggling up,  feeling safer than you've ever felt.   Brahms tilts his head and you feel the warmth of his lips as he kisses your crown.  Above you both, the leaden sky darkens and gently releases its burden of snow.   The flakes flutter down, caressing you both, covering you; soft as the kisses of angels.