100 Days → irwin

1.3 - day 38

All the boys sat around the couch, staring at each other in dead silence. It was as of none dared to say a word. Ashton was scared. He was scared because he had a feeling what this "meeting" was about.

Ever since Calum's outburst, none of them have really talked. Besides Michael who was basically the messenger of the group.

Ashton sighed as no one was talking. Luke was the first to stand up and make the first move. Although Ashton knew very well that he was not fond of speaking about important issues. Even if it was just in front of them. "Okay," Luke began with a huff of air, "We all obviously have things to talk about."

"You don't say?" Ashton scoffed. Calum glared at Ashton, but he just shrugged it off.

Luke stood silently for a few moments debating on what to say. After what seemed ages he opened his mouth again, "We're all at fault here. So, we should just let everything out. Calum you start."

"Why me?" Calum shot back almost in a whine. They all tried to hold back their chuckles because this was a serious matter.

Luke shrugged, "Because you're the one who wanted to have this."

Calum huffed before standing up from the floor where he had been sitting. He brushed his hands off on his jeans and looked at each of the guys for a moment. So many things rushed through his head. There were plenty for him to address. Calum's eyes stopped on Ashton. The anger and even a little sympathy still in his eyes.

"First of all, I understand that you're going through a lot of stuff right now, but that doesn't mean you can treat us like shit." Calum tried to keep his voice level, "Even before this whole thing, you were still an asshole. I don't know what happened to you, but it's not fair."

Ashton did not stand. He didn't not move a muscle. He was tired of being so emotional. He was tired of being weak. So instead of crying, which he felt like doing, he kept an entirely straight face. "And I don't think it's fair for you to blame me."

Calum rolled his eyes, "Blame you? Okay fine. Yeah I'm blaming you. Because this is all bullshit! If you weren't such an asshole to begin with, none of this would've happened!"

Luke and Michael exchanged an uncomfortable look. Neither of them sure if they should step in or say something.

Ashton shook his head, still refusing to stand, "You don't understand anything."

"Then please Ashton," Calum threw his hands up, "Inform me."

Ashton stared up at who he thought was his best friend. But right in this moment, he wasn't to sure anymore. If Calum didn't understand him then who could? "I don't have to 'inform' you of anything."

Before Calum was able to rebuttal, Michael jumped up from the couch, "Can you two please stop arguing? It's really annoying and it's making everyone uncomfortable."

"It speaks!" Ashton gasped.

Calum sighed and plopped back down on the floor again, resting his back against the couch. Everyone fell back into an awkward silence. Michael fell back into his seat not being able to say anything else.

"I don't think this is working," Luke said out of nowhere. Everyone turned to him with confused looks.

"What do you mean?" Ashton asked.

"Us. I don't think we're working." Luke pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

Calum stretched out his legs, "This sounds like a cliche romance movie break up."

"Break up?" Michael could barely choke out the words. Luke was making it sound like the end. Ashton didn't think Luke out of all people would be the first to mention such a thing. Sure things were difficult for them right now, but breaking up? It seemed outrageous.

Luke sighed, "I mean... It feels like none of us get along anymore. We're always arguing or talking shit. It just doesn't feel the same." It broke Luke's heart just saying those words out loud. He loved his band. He loved Ashton, Michael, and Calum. But he didn't want to feel trapped in something that didn't make him happy anymore.

"You don't mean that right?" Ashton asked quietly.

"I do." Luke clarified sinking down into the couch cushions. None of them spoke after that. All just staring off into space. Ashton's heart was beating rapidly. He didn't think all of this would resort in the bam breaking up.

What would that mean for their friendship? Would there still even be a friendship?

Ashton wouldn't let that happen. He couldn't. These guys were his second family. He loved them and this band. He couldn't let it all because Ashton had to go and fuck up.

"No." Ashton stood up making all eyes land on him.

"No?"

"No. We're not breaking up. No. We are not going to end this friendship. No." Ashton stormed out of the room and down the hall. "I'm not going to let that happen!" He shouted before closing the door to his room.

Maybe stomping away wasn't a good start, but Ashton didn't care. The only thing on his mind right now was fixing everything. And that had to begin with himself. Ashton had to fix who he was. Find himself again.

He had to be the Ashton he was before all the happened. Before he became a douche bag.

But he couldn't do alone.

He needed Luke, Calum, and Michael by his side. He needed them dearly. But he felt in his heart that it wasn't enough. The next person he surprisingly needed scared him.

Ashton didn't want to admit it, but he needed her.

He needed Riley.

-

I'm sorry this took so long to update and it's short wow you must hate me

I'm gonna start updating this one more bc I miss it okay

bUT STORY TIME CHILDRENS SIT DOWN

okay so I got done working out and my legs hurt like hell alright. so I was like "hey let's take a bath and relax for once"

so I did

and I was just chillin there when I reached for my loofa, but it wasn't there

of course it was hanging on the shower head and I reaaaaally didn't feel like standing up and getting it.

so I grabbed my razor and tried throwing it at the loofa... long story short it didn't work

then I tried just getting on my knees and tried swatting at it. weeeeell I slipped and fell and all my shampoo bottles fell on me so yeah

never get on your knees

the end