Albertstuff Series - Oneshots

𝕟𝕠 𝕧𝕚𝕣𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕕//ᴀʟʙᴇʀᴛ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ//🍋

-oneshot #1-

AAAAAAAAAAAAA IM NOT GOOD AT WRITING SMUT/LEMON

B A C K G R O U N D

You were spending the night at albert's house, while Jake and lana were out getting groceries~but you get bored and tell albert that you're gonna go rewatch some of his videos, but you sneak a bottle of vodka back and watch porn instead (don't, it's for the storyline.)

we start at when lana and jake just left

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Y/N'S POV

I was sitting on my good friend Albert--also known as Albertstuff and Flamingo--t's couch as we watched his other good friend and ex-(yeah i just did that)girlfriend Lana and Jake leave to go to the supermarket.

Albert actually broke up with Lana a few hours ago, but they agreed to still be friends. I sighed and turned over to face Albert and realized we were basically doing nothing. "Hey Albert," I started. "I'm bored, do you mind if I go re-watch some of your vids?" Albert nodded, looking at me with his half-lidded eyes--he's a sleepy boi--as I got off of his couch, pulling down my over-sized f/c Albert fan-hoodie. "Wait..."I turned around again."Let me come too, I want to see your reaction..." "Nah, it's okay, take your nap." He grunted at my response, and sat up, asking, "What naa....." He couldn't even finish his sentence before he drifted off to sleep. "That was easy.." I thought before sneaking vodka out of the fridge and jogging to the recording room.

I turned on Albert's computer for a quick joke and searched up "albertstuff porn" just to make him think he searched that. Then I ran to the guest computer room and went to pornhub.

What was I watching, you ask?

you know, the usual, some hardcore, some bdsm, some bondage. Whatever.

-time skip because you know how them hentai addictions be-

I was nearly asleep on my last porn video when I heard the door behind me creak. Instinctively, for some reason I immediately jumped in front of the door, in a sort of doggystyle position. As the door opened, I realized what I just did and rushed to shut down the computer before I froze in panic. My head spun to look at Albert in the doorway, And the details....

1. I wasn't wearing anything under the over-sized hoodie.

2. while shutting down the computer, my ass was in the air, which slid my hoodie down my legs because of gravity

3. and now my vegana, bobs, and 4ss is le exposed

Trying to break the awkward silence, I said "wow...I didn't know you woke up already..Hi.....Uh..." but then-

--dream lemon warning--

He sLaMmEd hIs GiAnT MaNhOoD InTo My aSS AnD We fUcKeD FoR 7 HoUrS StRaIgHT bUt we FoRgOt ThE CoNdOmS. So i sCrEaMED:"cloak the joker before you poke her, asshole!" bUt tHeN I ReAlIzEd tHat I aM ThE AsShOlE HerE sO He ToOk hIs PeNiS OuT AnD PoInTeD At tHE GaPinG hOlE I CaLlEd mY Ass. ThEn i ReAlUzEd i wAs bRegnet AnD We fUcKeD 1000000000000000000000000000 tImEs aGaIN and i was crippled and lana died of jelausy, the end.

--lemon over--

I realized I had been fantasizing for about 3 whole minutes now, a vivid blush spread across my face. So I nervously crawled under the desk, and for some reason a hairy, jake-looking arm had reached from behind Albert and gave him a rubbery thing.....A FUCKING CONDOM!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!??!??!?????????????(i am confusion)Al gave his arm a 'wtf bro' look and closed the door, earning an angry "OW!" from Jake, not just his arm. He stepped closer to me with a knowing look, as if asking, 'do you want to?' I nodded slightly, and blushed even harder. Both of us stepping closer, we looked like two tomatoes about to become friends...no, more than friends.. So I stepped forward, determined, and slid down, bringing his pants down with me. I gave him a look of asking for permission--damn, looks have been talking a lot in this paragraph--to continue. He simply nodded, obviously nervous, but who wasn't? So I started from his hips and slowly brought down his boxers with his pants, lower, until they reached his feet.

--lemon starts--

Holy shit, it was bigger then expected-

ALBERTO'S P0V

this was......really happening.

I always thought she was cute, but, wow....

.

.

I thought I was...too ugly...

I looked down, realizing she had already grabbed my dick, and started giving it kitten licks. By the way she did it, I could tell she had never done this before. I reached out to give her the..condom...Jake gave me, but she swatted it away. When me and Lana...er....did it....She was eager to get the condom, Y/N rejected it. I knew she was different.

I was so in awe that I couldn't think fully, but the first clear thought came not even a few minutes after....a rule, even.

No virgins aloud.

I mentally scolded myself for being so 'pervy,' but rolled with it anyway. so I picked Y/N up, her mouth sliding off my PeNiS, and told her, "No virgins aloud."

Nope

Nope

Nope

Maybe next time

Lord help

a