𝚙𝚘·𝚎𝚝·𝚛𝚢 {𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚠𝚘𝚘𝚍-𝚋𝚡𝚋𝚎}

{𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚋𝚞𝚍𝚜}

left ear, right ear.
click.
swipe.
tap.
now playing.
this was the girl's morning routine.
people ask her why the tiny speakers mean so much to her.
"can't you go just one day without them?" her mother pleads
to which she shakes her head, she tries to explain why without sounding utterly and completely dramatic.

but at the very last second her mind tells her
"to hell with dramatic"
and she goes full force.

"Mom, I know it's hard to understand but these tiny speakers force me to put pen to paper
to put paint to canvas.
to put microphone to lips.
these are the reason why I look at the sky and don't just see the color blue,
they force me to get a closer look and instead I see my daydreams.
these are the reason why I got into writing, they helped me realize that it's not just similes and overused metaphors and proper nouns,
it's also a place
where I can let out a gut wrenching scream and nobody will hear me,
it's a place where I can break the constant
game of tug of war
that goes on inside my head.
the demons keep pulling and pulling but still not one falls backwards and lets go of the rope.

please mom,
please understand that these aren't just earbuds anymore!
no,
these are my home when this old pile of bricks starts to stop feeling like one!
these are my mouth when my own is just an idle decoration on my face!
these are the hands that suffocate my anxiety attack when it starts to scream at me
can't you see,
that I can't function without these."