From There to Here: Changing Into My New

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Prologue
I am struggling with getting these words down on paper, this is not an easy task. You see, my life has not always been chocolate and roses or peaches and cream. There have been many ups and even more downs during my time here on this earth. I have been happy and sad with butterflies and blood boiling, so no this is not easy for me. The ups have left me with memories that will forever make me smile while the downs, at times, make me question my judgement, reevaluate my character, and sometimes wonder who I am. There have been times when I wanted to crawl in a hole and just simply die because I was so afraid of the person I was becoming. After a series of craziness and a life filled with stupid mistakes and heartaches, it has become evident that it is time for a change---YES, it is definitely time for a change!

Chapter 1
My sister and I are only a few years apart, but we have older siblings that have since left home and made their own families (having no time for us). It's because of this that the two of us are extremely close. Yes, she is a pain in the rear, but hey, she is my little sister and I would not trade her for anything in the world. She and I have an understanding, she is the baby and can get her way always, and I am going to use that to my advantage. NOT! Here we are looking like little baby dolls and wanting to be like the stars we watch on television, but knowing deep down in our hearts that mamma and daddy don't play that. No you have to be a straight "A" student that will graduate, go to college, and become successful because everyone is getting older and "one day all of this will be yours and you will be responsible for maintaining its upkeep." How many times have I heard those words.......

Today began like any other day with mother saying "wake up, wash your faces, and come eat breakfast! You don't want to be late for Sunday School and Church!" Who knew today would be the end of life as I knew it, that things were about to take a drastic change. A change so crazy that I would no longer be looking forward to the day when I become an adult; instead I would be growing up today or tomorrow.............honestly, I am not ready.

I haven't always been a troublemaker, in fact, I was always a good child; well-mannered, respectful, and smart. Okay, yes, there were times when I was a little troubled, but once that belt appeared, I quickly went back to my old self. Of course, with parents like mine, walking the "straight-and-narrow" was mandatory. They believed that if the rod was spared, the child would most definitely be spoiled; and that was not an option for their household. One day I was a very happy child with two loving parents the next....

In a matter of hours I have gone from the role of the middle child, to that of an adult. How could he do this, just up and die like that with no warning, no 'I'm never coming back home'-NOTHING! I have replayed this scene in my head over and over again, but unfortunately, nothing has changed. I have prayed to God to bring him back so I don't have to grow up so quickly, but it's as if he does not hear me. What am I to do? I am not adult ready or knowledgeable; well maybe a little. All I know is the man of the house is gone and I am sworn to care for those he left behind. I have been left to play the responsible adult; only there has been no training, I've been given no tools to work with, and worst of all - I'm only a kid.

"Come here let me talk to you, I want you to listen closely to every word I am about to say and then I want to ask you something, but I need you to think long and hard before you answer me, okay?" This is what my father said to me. He then preceded to explain to me that every time he punished me it was to make me a better person to be the best me I can be. After smiling and telling me how he loved me and was very proud of me he dropped the line that would forever be the most important part of my life. He said, "I need you to promise me that you will take care of your mother and sister for me; don't let anything happen to them, and protect them to the best of your ability." With my head held hi I answered "yes sir, I will do my best." We finally get to have a really mature conversation with one another and he is proud of me. Twenty four hours later, I understood why he said all that to me, he left us and was not coming back. Apparently, God needed him more than we did.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 22, 2019 ⏰

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