In the middle of the ocean

Chapter 15: Ladybug

We stop in front of a nice restaurant and the smell of crispy baked potatoes and freshly roasted meat wafts through the air.

"I assumed, we would get hungry soon from all that fitting so I wanted to stop for a good lunch," Mark explains and pulls out a chair for me. I thank him and when I sit down, he gently pushes me closer to the table and also sits down.

Pleasantly surprised, I look at him.

"I don't remember you being such a gentleman."

Mark smiles. "Sometimes life experiences force you to learn such things."

"Really? What kind?"

His eyes lose the smile and settle on mine. He doesn't utter a single word.

I also stop smiling and furrow my eyebrows. Don't tell me he means... me? A waiter interrupts us after he clears his throat.

"Welcome! What will you have?"

"Lunch for two," Mark answers. We choose our dishes and a dessert which is supposed to be a surprise. "And a bottle of your best wine," Mark adds. "If we're going to eat luxurious food, we can afford something more expensive."

He gets comfortable in his chair and loosens his tie. Meanwhile, I have a million questions running around in my brain and it feels like my head is going to explode. And still, when I want to say something, my head suddenly goes empty and all my thoughts disappear, leaving me only with a half-opened mouth. Without a word, without a voice.

"You look like you want to ask something, but don't know how," Mark says on the other side, facing me.

I look at him. He's right. I should be ashamed. This is about me, my life, yet I'm such a coward for not even knowing how to take care of myself. You would think I would have become self-conscious by now, be my own boss, walk around with my head held high and overcome any obstacle. But... it's not like that.

I look away, ashamed.

I mean, look at Mark. He's got a great job that he loves, no problems in or out of his work. He's brave, handsome, a real leader, a great friend and... The last word I don't even dare to say even in my mind.

"You're not a coward."

I raise my head, startled. "What?" Did he read my mind?

"Mia. I am your friend since way back in high school. I know you better than I know myself. I should know, what goes on in that head of yours."

My cheeks blush from embarrassment. Or also something else?

"Of course I am. I can lose my job, my relationship with Harry is on the line, my dream job in your hands. How can I take care of others when I can't even take care of myself? I just... don't know what to do anymore."

Tears threaten to spill and I try my hardest to hold them back. All the things I couldn't say before were now coming out one after another. And in front of Mark as well. I didn't care what I said. A lot was burdening my soul and now it felt like the dam was starting to crumble a little.

"See? You aren't such a weakling after all. What you said just now, must've taken a lot of courage. It's important to know, what your weak points are and turn them into good ones. You already conquered one."

I slowly raise my head. "Which one?"

His lips change into a warm smile. "Me."

My heart jumps. "What... what do you mean?"

"It's like I said. Before I was a scary monster for you, that ruined your life. But now, you finally started to trust me. Your speech earlier proved that."