Light On [Niam Horayne]

Prelude

Niall James Horan shared a profound bond with his four best mates.

Harry Styles was one of the most diverse people he had met in his life, hands down. He was experimental and open- always ready to try new things. He was smart, and kind, and if he were being honest, pretty fit. He loved a lot, disliked little. He didn't judge those who shared different values or beliefs; so long as they weren't being rude about it, that is. At the same time, he was protective, and maybe so in a way that could be looked at as possessive. Though rather insecure, he was always himself, and didn't have a problem with who he was. He was the cheeky, curly-haired lad that Niall, among the others, had grown to love.

Louis Tomlinson was...interesting, to say the least. And of course, Niall only meant that with the best intentions, as Louis was probably the most pure when it came to his intentions. He could be quite rude, he got cross fairly easily, but it couldn't be helped- honestly, anyone who was under the stress that the oldest lad was had a right to be an asshole sometimes. However, he was nice, and it was plain to see. He gave compliments scarcely, and when you recieved one, you knew he was being nothing but sincere. If Louis told you that he loved you, you were almost compelled to believe it- he didn't say it a lot, so it was rather special to hear those words.

And when Louis was concerned about you, he was concerned. He wouldn't let up until he had details- when he had those, he would do everything in his power to make you feel better. He was a pretty quirky and fun lad, but it showed more when someone was down. Niall appreciated having him around- perhaps a bit more than he cared to admit, but Louis was an important part of all of their lives in some way or another.

By far, Niall was closest to Zayn Malik. There wasn't one specific reason- just every little aspect of their friendship added up to create this one big thing that Niall was proud to be apart of. He loved Zayn. As a little bit more than a brother, but it was in no sense romantic. It was more so in the sense that he would do absolutely anything for the older lad. He knew that his feelings were requited- one particularly drunken night they had spilled things that they normally wouldn't; and that was actually how Niall ended up finding out that Zayn had a bit of a thing going on with Harry.

Before knowing Zayn, Niall had never really understood the concept of being so dependent on someone that they actually become your crutch and you need them to keep you steady. The two lads had no secrets when it came to one another. Despite how close they were, however, the both also knew how to give someone personal space when they needed it. Which was good, as Niall sometimes had those days when he got a pounding migraine and wanted the world to just blow up, and while all the other lads tried to make him happy, get the adrenaline pumping through their veins, Zayn knew that their attempts were futile and he also knew how to keep his distance- if Niall doesn't want to talk, he won't talk, and it's as simple as that. It was a two way street, and almost eerie the way that either lad noticed when the other was having an off day.

Despite all of that, no one compared to the light of Liam James Payne.

Don't ask Niall what exactly it is that he loves about the boy- he could, quite honestly, go on forever. He liked everything about Liam. His kind, supportive nature. His voice. His looks. He was quite wise, and a very talented lad overall. He was really the complete package, and Niall knew that he wasn't the only one who thought so.

He interacted with Liam a lot. Not on very personal levels, as for whatever reason, Niall didn't tend to talk much about feelings with his older counterpart. It's not that Liam isn't understanding- he is, actually- it's just that he keeps the personal stuff with Zayn. He and Liam just...talk. About everything and nothing all at the same time. All of the lads knew each other well, given that they had been in the band together for years now and had just about run out of childhood stories to tell, so they mainly talked about the stuff that was currently happening. It was casual conversation; to anyone listening it would sound like they were just re-capping the news.

Sometimes, they did.

Either which way, it hardly made a difference. Niall enjoyed Liam's presence on its own- they could sit in complete silence and he would be completely content.

He also tended to be the most physical with Liam. He would hold his hand, or press in close when brought into the thicker arms of the older lad. Niall knew it was nothing intimate or romantic. Nothing of the sort was going on between the two of them- or anyone in the band, save for Zayn and Harry, for that matter. He loved Liam in the same way that he loved Zayn, more or less.

---

One day that bond became less profound.

Harry Styles became less kind- may have lost a few brain cells, and a fair deal of his common sense. He was undoubtedly possessive, in a way that could no longer be written off as protective. He became open and experimental in all the wrong ways. Anyone who knew him on a personal level could tell that he was no longer the cheeky lad he had been. His bright eyes grew dull. His smile was noticeably forced.

He was not Harry Styles.

Louis Tomlinson was interesting in all new way. He had changed little personality wise- he was still a bit careless with what he said and he still stressed easily. He just dealt with it in different ways. Forget about having good intentions. He must have known that he was hurting people, and it was clear to anyone that he was also torturing himself.

He was not Louis Tomlinson.

Zayn Malik had always been pure gold in Niall's eyes- until, that is, he dulled to an ugly gray. Still quiet, but it was no longer the kind of quiet that brought peace and comfort with it. No, it was an uncomfortable quiet and it would be evident to anyone that something was wrong. There were walls put back up, and suddenly, secrets existed between the two of them again. The scent of coffee and stale cigarette smoke replaced the musky, yet somehow sweet scent, that clung to him. When people wanted to be left alone, he let them be as per usual- but it seemed as though he only did that so he could be alone, too.

He was not Zayn Malik.

Liam Payne lost his glow. He lost the sparkle that made him who he was. He lost the kind and wise nature. He was no longer the supportive, responsible man that he had once been. He was possessive, protective, and surprisingly quick to anger. He was no longer the soft-hearted person who couldn't hurt a fly. Rather, he was the man set on making someone pay. The one who would take no amount of blame.

Though he was still Niall's light, he was no longer Liam Payne.

And if the Irish lad had to pinpoint when exactly this change began to occur- well, he could tell it like it had just happened yesterday.

Sometimes it feels like it had.