Excerpts of my life

"friends forever"

Jamie , Age 16 , Senior

You were my best friend.I really felt like we would do everything and anything for each other.It was our senior and a lot was on the line.I needed as much moral support as I could get.But you left me alone. Literally. You picked up all of your stuff andbrought your table away. It was ridiculous, but I realized you were being serious.I couldn't believe you.

We fought over something over WhatsApp, I don't remember what it was over, 

but it was when I was on the way home from school. I was infuriated. 

We stopped being friends after that, but the way you acted, was as if you kept wanting to talk to me, but you were holding back. It could've been peer pressure, but I thought I was of higher priority than those guys. Boy, I was so wrong.

I expected so much from you, but you disappointed me.

After a couple of months, we had a learning journey to the SP.It was such a long time ago, and I guess my brain made me forget.

You finally said a word to me after so long. "Hi." I responded, "hey", rather awkwardly. I didn't know how to react. Small talk really is such a bore, especially when it's with someone you really don't want to talk to.

We didn't talk anymore after that day.

Soon enough, I left the school because I could get into college early.I didn't hug anyone, no warm goodbyes. It was like I was never there.

I've never felt so free.

I made it out of that horrid place, filled with people who were never really my friends. Never really there for me, at least not as much as I was for them.

I never looked back.

Sometimes, when it's rainy or I get lost in thought, I think of you.Your face is a blurry image in my mind.I still remember your voice, curse my audio memory.

Part of me thinks I never want to see you again, that I should have nothing more to do with you.Another part thinks I should forgive you.Honestly, you really hurt me. I remember that I told you that.I don't remember anything after.

I'd really love more than anything to let you go, to forget all the pain you've caused me.I thought I was over this, but typing makes my heart ache.At least it doesn't heart like it used to.

Thank you for everything.You haven't always been bad.There was a reason why we were best friends after all, and I'm thankful that we were.

This chapter is my goodbye to you.With words I couldn't say back then.

Live well.Jamie.