Moving On [SwaggerSouls]

/Chapter Fourteen/ Eyes on the Prize

I laid in bed a few moments longer as Bianca redressed herself before exiting my room.

I allowed myself to lower my hand as I heard the door shut behind her. I guess she had noticed I was trying not to get a glimpse of her naked for the first time in all of history.

I threw my legs over the bed yet again and thought about what I'd just done.

Was I too harsh with her?

No. I couldn't have been. It was something that needed to be said and it's up to Bee if she's willing to accept that outcome or not. I had to move on from the pointless bullshit sometime and I guess that time just might be now. I love Bee. I'm just not in love with her and nor is she with me, so while I had fun with her, there really was no point to it at all. There was nothing in it for either of us, except for a distraction from the work we had to do on the daily, which was incredibly stressful. She definitely wasn't a proper outlet, but we both enjoyed each other a good amount, which is why we didn't put an end to it sooner. Perhaps I should have though, as to avoid something like this, but she was more than likely just a bit agitated due to my sudden rejection.

It'll blow over. I'll just give it a few days, I thought to myself as I walked over to my closet and threw on some clothes.

Now back to the issue at hand...

I removed my phone from its charger before checking to see if there were any surprise messages from Alyssa, which to both my disappointment and relief, there weren't. I shouldn't have expected anything regardless. I'd basically told her that I wanted nothing to do with her and then just dipped. What was she supposed to say to that?

I sighed, ashamed of my impulsive actions. I'd make this up to her, one way or another. She's worth it. She's so worth it. I've known that since I met her at the coffee shop just a couple of days ago. It's just if she were to be mine, I know it's going to be a lot to handle. A whole lot of responsibility. It's up to me to say if I'm ready for that amount of responsibility yet. And honestly, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I don't know what will come from this, happiness and pain-wise.

She could very well be my downfall and I don't even know it yet.

But, you never know until you try. And with the amount of guilt I feel right now, I know I'm already somehow attached to her. On top of that, with the sheer amount of things she makes me feel, she made me tell Bianca off for whatever reason.

She's already slowly undoing me, which is a pretty good reason to stick to my word and let the past stay in the past. But, I find myself needing to see her again, even if it's just apologizing for being a complete asshole. After all, who knows if she even wants to hear from me again.

I grabbed my wax pen before taking a hit and sat down in front of my monitor, powering it on.

I'm going to convince her that she means something to me one way or another. And honestly, I could give two shits how long it will take.

I just hope this'll work.

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I stepped out of my room into the empty living room after hours of working on my monitor, half-baked, as I wondered where everyone was.

I only walked a few more steps before an "Ow!" sounded from below me.

Realizing I had stepped on something, or rather someone I shifted back as I began to quickly apologize.

"Fuck, dude! Watch your step." An unfamiliar blond figure was tangled with Cam in a blanket on the floor as she chastised me with bright blue eyes.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed in my haze, "I didn't see you there." I stared at her for a few more moments as she just shrugged it off, "Just uh, who are you and why are you in my house again?"

She lifted her head off of Cam's chest just enough to squint at my confused expression, "Are you high?"

"Little bit."

She chuckled, "Nice. Wake and bake. You're living the life."

Cam stirred beneath her as he began to wake up and opened his eyes, focusing on me and giving me a small smile, and mumbled "Morning."

Blake pulled his lazy figure closer to her, resting the side of her face on his as she turned back to me, "I'm Blake! And as for the reason as to why I'm here, Cam brought me back here to hang out. I'm not surprised you don't remember me from last night, you were pretty intoxicated."

"Thaaat's me," I said unenthusiastically.

"I'm the reason behind Cam and Ezra's little brawl last night, not that you should remember that. You were too busy letting your girlfriend straddle you at the time to notice." She giggled.

"Not my girlfriend, but you're right about one thing, I don't remember that at all."

"You probably will when you see that bitch's fucked up nose," Cam piped up, tiredly.

Blake nuzzled him closer before addressing me again, "Long story short, he tried hooking up with me and it pissed Cam off since he was the one who brought me here. When he persisted, most-likely since we were all pretty fucked, things escalated and they ended up actually fighting each other."

"Shit man, you alright?" I looked at Cam who just nodded.

"Believe me, Racc looks a whole lot worse."

"Racc?" Blake looked at the both of us confused.

"It's just a nickname, sweetheart. Inside joke." Cam replied adjusted himself so he was laying down on his back and looked up at the ceiling.

"Oh, alright."

Fitz looked at me again and raised his eyebrows in response to my small smile, "So, you're clearly partially high. You gonna be productive today?"

"Actually yes, asswipe. I'm about to go grab some breakfast from the kitchen before I head out to see that girl I just went on a date with a couple of days ago."

"I take it things went well then?"

Not exactly.

"What else did you expect from this sexy hunk of a man?" I joked as I dramatically flexed for the pair.

"I think I just threw up in my mouth a little." Blake went as she buried her face in Cam's neck.

"I know, but after a while, it's almost like you become immune to it. I've been scarred by it too many times and now it doesn't even seem to faze me anymore." Fitz quipped as he just cuddled her closer.

"Get a room," I joked as I turned away from them, "And I mean literally, get off of my fucking floor already."

——————END OF CHAPTER FOURTEEN—————

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