that boy / sam pottorff fanfic

chapter one

You walk in the door and drop your bag on the floor. You kick your shoes off and immediately head to the bathroom. You lock the door and look at your reflection. Am I really as ugly as they all say? You ask yourself. Britney's words replay in your head; "Look at yourself Y/n! Your hideous! And everyone can see that! Just go die already!"

Maybe she's right. You open your drawer and take out your blade. You begin cutting small lines of cuts into your forearm. Tears fall down your cheeks. You instantly regret cutting and drop to the floor, in a crying mess. Your arm was bleeding a lot. There were over 20 cuts. All the way up to your elbow. You start to have a panic attack when you think about trying to hide them from your boyfriend, Sam. You know how much it would upset him. This makes you cry even harder. Your mascara runs down your cheeks but you don't even wipe the tears. You start to choke and you gasp for air, hiccupping on the tears. Your lip quivers and your whole body shakes. You can't breathe and you feel sick. Typical panic attack. You hear your phone ringing in your bedroom. You ignore it. How am I going to hide the cuts from Sam? You think. He always becomes suspicious when you never take your sweatshirt off. And he makes you show him your arm most days. You start to panic again. You get a lump in your throat and try to swallow, but you just choke even more. You scream in frustration. No one cares about me. You look down at your wrist again and crawl towards the toilet and throw up. I'm such a fucking disappointment! Look at me! You flush the toilet and lean against the bath tub, gasping for air. More tears roll down your face. Your eyes hurt from crying. But you just can't stop. Suddenly you hear someone coming up the stairs. You panic. It's Sam. He knocks on the door.

"Y/n! Y/n let me in!"

You let out a sob. You don't know what to do.

"Y/n, open the door. It's ok"

What about my cuts? You think

Suddenly the door bursts open. You don't have time to do anything so you hold your forearm against your body and cross your arms. Sam drops to his knees next to you. "Y/n, baby, I got you now, it's gonna be alright" He pulls you towards him and holds you close. After you stop shaking, he pulls away and lifts your chin up, so you're looking at him. He tucks your hair behind your ear and wipes away your tears. "What happened princess?" He asks.

"Britney" You sob.

"Don't listen to her, Y/n, you are so much better than that. Look at you. You're beautiful babe. She's just jealous. Don't let it get to you" Sam says. He kisses your forehead. You try force a smile. He tries to take your hand. You flinch and remain holding your arm tightly against your chest. "Y/n, what'd you do. Oh god please tell me you didn't-" You start sobbing again, and your breaths get quicker, making it hard to breathe. "Sam, I-I'm sorry. I can explain" You whisper, as a tear rolls down your cheek.

"You don't have to," he says, wiping the tear away and kissing your cheek. "Of course I'm disappointed, because it makes me sad, Y/n, but I'm not mad. Because if I got mad, you'd just worry more. I'm not angry at you for doing it. Yeah It breaks my heart to see you doing this to yourself but I know that I have to stay and help you if I want you to stop. It'll be ok baby" he says. You nod. "Now, what do you wanna do princess? Donuts?" You smile and nod. Sam stands up and gives you his hand. You take his hand and he pulls you up off the bathroom floor. You see Sam take a secretive glance at your cuts as you leave the bathroom. He frowns. You feel bad, but try and smile and pretend your fine, or he'll worry even more. "Sam.." You say. He stops and turns around. "Yes beautiful?" You hug him and whisper "Thanks for the help. I appreciate it" He pulls away. "Anything for my girl. I love you. Now let's go get some donuts!" He smiles. You head into your room and put on a hoodie. You spray yourself with perfume and throw your messy hair up into a bun. You quickly wipe off your ruined makeup and grab your phone. Sam holds your hand and you guys get in his car. Sam starts driving. "How'd you know where I was and-?" You ask. "I texted you, a million times, and when you didn't reply I knew something was wrong. I also called and as soon as it went to voicemail, I got in the car and came as fast as I could..." He said.  You look down at your phone and sure enough, 64 text messages, 4 missed calls, a voicemail, and a snapchat, all from Sam. He looks over at your phone and laughs. You two talk while Sam drives to the Dunkin DriveThru. Talking to Sam on the way makes you calm down a lot. "Hi welcome to Dunkin Donuts, what can I get for ya today?"

"Hey, can I get two large French vanilla iced coffees, two powdered donuts, two glazed donuts, and two chocolate donuts"

"Sure, that'll be $15.80 at the window, drive on thru"

Sam paid and got the donuts and coffee. "Does that make you happier baby?" He asked you. "Yes definitely. Thank you Sammy" You smile. Sam drives you to the beach and you sit down in the late afternoon sun and eat.

"I love you Y/n" Sam says.

"I love you more" You reply.

"No way"

"Yes way! I love you so much Sam!"

"Y/n, you have no idea" Sam says, as he looks into your eyes.

He lifts your chin and kisses you. You guys have kissed a million times but each one is so special and you feel sparks every time. You stay at the beach until it gets late and then you and Sam drive home. Sam holds your hand while he drives, and he doesn't let go.

That boy is so special

That boy