Leave me

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Get the fuck out of my brain. That's the one part of me your not allowed inside. Your no longer on my mind: you consume it. You paint yourself on the inside of my eyelids while I dream so all I can see is you. Day and night- I can't even escape when I blink. Your a virus that spreads through my thoughts. Everyone else is immune. You haunt the places we went together and it's terrifying. You are terrifying.

I ran into my old therapist today, the one you told me to get; she asked me how I was and I replied with "better". You were the only person I could truly talk to, tell everything to without a single doubt or regret. I knew everything about you too. I'd cry to you all night every night and sleep in class the next morning. Even so, that was the last time I felt awake. Conscious. Alive. The state I'm in now is something new, something different. I wish you could experience it with me here instead of being all alone. Desperate. I worry about you constantly.

I have no idea why I'm explaining this to you. As always, you know exactly how I feel. Your amazing. You're sensitive and caring and equally as funny. Please, don't ever blame yourself for anything I did to myself, you and others. You helped me and I am forever grateful. You prevented me from taking my life so I will dedicate mine towards you, like I voluntarily indebted myself. I loved you, Evo. Loved. Now please get out of my head.

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