Broken But Then Fixed - H2OVanoss

Chapter 9: Evan's Rage & Loving

Vanoss' POV

I hold Delirious until he fell asleep in my lap, he wouldn't stop crying. I wish he would've told me what was going on, I wish he would've showed me the truth, I wish people would just stop and notice words can hurt someone. I'm never leaving his side, ever.

I picked Delirious up bridal style and carried him to his bedroom. I layed him on his bed and tucked him under the covers. I smiled at how peaceful he looked and walked out of the room and walked in the living room. My phone was buzzing like hell. I picked it up and looked at the time, Wow, 12pm already? I might make Delirious some lunch before I do anything else.

I put my phone in my pocket and walked in the kitchen and made a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for him and poured some orange juice in a cup. I grabbed the lunch and walked in Delirious's room again, he was still sleeping. I smiled and set everything on the table next to him. I bent down and kissed Delirious on the cheek before walking back out of the room. I took another look at him before walking out the door, he had a smile on his face.

I went into the living room and pulled out my phone, now's the time to see what everyone wants. I had a few texts from Lui, and notifications from twitter. I looked at Lui's messages first.

'Evan, do you really like Delirious more than a friend or were you just saying that you love him as a friend?'

'Dude, everyone is blowing up our twitter with questions like, "Is H2OVanoss real?" Well, is it?' 

'Did you see what Wildcat tweeted Delirious?? What a dick. I know you're with him, is he okay? I haven't heard from him in awhile.'

I took a deep breath, Lui is a great friend. I can tell him. I texted him back, 'I don't like Delirious, I love him. More than a friend. I haven't seen twitter in a couple of hours, I'll check it now.' 

I opened up twitter and read what Wildcat sent Delirious, so that's why Delirious came out crying and everything. I looked through the fans questions and smiled at a few, 'Evan is always sticking up for Delirious! #H2OVANOSSFORLIFE' and 'I wish H2OVanoss was real.' and 'Evan is visiting Delirious?! THE SHIP LIVES FOREVER!' Then I passed one that made me pissed, Wildcats.

'@VanossGaming #IHopeDeliriousDies' 

That's it.

I opened up my contacts and called Wildcat, after two rings he picked up. "Hello?" 

"Tyler, how fucking dare you send all that shit to Delirious. Do you know what you did?" I tried to keep my voice low, not trying to wake up Delirious from his nap.

"What did I make him cry?" He laughed, I was getting angrier but the minute.

"No, worse."

"Wh-what do you mean worse? What'd he do?" 

"He's self harming. I don't know if this is the first time he's done it but when I seen his arms, all those fucking cuts.. They were because of you, I know that."

"I didn't think he would do it!"

"The fuck do you mean you didn't think he would do it?! Are you kidding me? Where do you think he went after you got done telling him how worthless he is or how fucking stupid he is? He did that! You think this is a game don't you? Words hurt. They always do!" I was shouting, I was too pissed. The thought of Delirious waking up to my rage went in the back of my mind.

"I- I didn't mean the stuff I said. E-Evan! I-I only did that to make him stronger, he needs to stand up for himself. I didn't know he was hurting himself behind our backs. I'm sorry!" 

"Sorry? Do you think that's gonna cut it? What about the 'hashtag I hope Delirious dies' thing, were you playing around with that? Because of you, the love of my life is hurting himself because he believes all the shit you say!" 

"E-Evan, I-I'm sorry. I don't mean the things I say. I only said and did things because I want him to grow up and stick up for himself.. It was tough love. Please I-" I cut him off.  "Tough love? Since when is making someone feel worthless tough love? You know what. Fuck you, stop tweeting that shit to him and me or I will come to your house in the next 24 hours and kick your ass to pluto." 

After that I hunged up and took a deep breath. "Fucking, dick." I said to myself.

"Ev-Evan?" I heard a soft voice behind me, I quickly turned around seeing Delirious, he looked like he was tired still, plus he was holding his sandwich. He rubbed his eyes and looked at me, "Why did you yell at Tyler?" 

"Because I... was he the reason for all the cuts?" He looked at arms and poked half of them before answering. He looked at me, he had sadness in his eyes. 

He took a small bite out of his sandwich, "Have you ever read something that killed you inside? Like a text message or someone's status. Everything was going fine until you accidentally came across something you didn't want to read. Or found out something you were better off  not knowing. Its almost as if it was posted just to purposely hurt you. But you constantly read it over and over again to torture yourself. It sucks. Ever time Wildcat or anyone really told me something about myself, like if I was worlthless, stupid, ugly, anything. I would believe it."

I walked over to him, "But who would love a guy who has scars, cuts himself, starves himself, hates himself and could never love himself. Tell me Evan, who?" I picked up his chin and stared in his eyes, "Me." 

Tears were forming in his eyes, "Why? What do you possibly love about me?" I smiled, "You're laugh is one thing, whenever I hear it, it makes me laugh. You're smile warms my heart every time I see it. You're eyes are like the blue sky. Then there's your personality, its amazing. Everything about you, from head to toe, is perfect." He looked down and tears started dripping from his face, I took his hands in mine, "Let me count your scars."

He instantly looked up at me, "Why?" 

"Because then I can see how many times you needed me, and how many times I wasn't there." 

"Ev-Evan.."

"Johnathan, I love you. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that. I won't leave your side from now on. Okay?" 

"Evan, I'm trying to fall for you. Its hard though.. My heart won-" I cut him off, "If you fall, I'll catch you. If your heart is breaking, I'll fix it." He nodded and hugged me, I smiled and hugged him back.

No matter what Johnathan, I will forever love you. 

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<3