My chest feels hot and tight. Constricting. It won't go away. I'm so confused. I want to deny it. I want to deny how I feel. I can't be... It would hurt to fall in love. And now as I'm ready to cry, my chest grows even tighter and breathing is difficult. Even as the thoughts of him race through my mind, my head is spinning and any grip I had on anything that made sense slipped through my fingers. Even as the words that make up him escape my lips, there's a wild, pulsing heart trying to fight its way out, and all past relationships are officially lost. He was making room inside of me, to fit in my heart and head, to be there when I didn't want him to be, but I can't escape myself, even for a minute.
My heart thumps as if warning me of the danger, yet it's excited. My mind remembers unwanted memories as if to remind me of what happened before, yet it shows me the possibilities of us. All of me is scared, but most of me isn't worried since even if I get hurt... It would be worth it, because this constricting feeling is real.
All I can do is fight myself as I fall in inescapable love. This war of my conscience between my heart and my brain can take a day or two, a week maybe, a month? Even a year.
So here I am. It took all summer. But I know for a fact, I'm irrevocably, irreversibly in love with someone.
