ghost of you // interracial

006. stormy

The carousel of time never stops spinning. No matter what happens or to who it happens to, that carousel keeps turning and there is nothing that can stop it.

Camron felt like a fool; a complete fool for thinking he could stop time. Being convicted of a crime and then being sentenced for almost an entire year didn't mean that Rebecca had to stop living her life. Yet, he expected her to. He expected her to wait for him.

It wasn't like he was sentenced to fifteen years behind bars. It was for eight months; it was only eight months. It felt like a lifetime to him. Locked in that tiny cell with his obnoxious cellmate, confined behind barbwire fences as they ran about the small prison yard like dogs. A lifetime in hell.

The only thing that kept Camron sane was Rebecca. The thought of getting out and finally being able to hold her, to kiss her. He had memorized a grand speech in which he'd confess his never-ending, unconditional love for her and their daughter before ending it with a proposal. He didn't have a ring, of course. They didn't need rings or ceremonies; they had each other and that was more than enough for him.

The day before his release, he had called her. The excitement buzzing through him was crushed when she ended things, less than twenty-four hours before he'd get out.

At that moment, Camron thought that there wouldn't be anything else that could happen to him that would hurt as much as that. Now, standing in Rebecca's living room staring at the woman he loved as she confirmed what he feared to be true, Camron was sure that this was the worst pain he'd ever experience.

"I—I don't know what to say, Cam," Rebecca choked out, her eyes wet from the tears threatening to spill. Even now, she could see just how she was hurting him.

"Becca," his voice was heavy with heartbreak, the lump in his throat getting in the way of his words. "Tell me why. Why you started sleeping with him; tell me why."

She opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't form the words. What could she say? The damage was already done, and she knew that from the look on his face. She felt like a monster, but she wasn't going to dig it in deeper by allowing him to go on about it.

"I can't, Cam."

"Yes, you can. You can give me a fuckin' answer, Becca. That's...," the words got caught as his voice cracked, the emotions becoming too much for him to hold back.

Rebecca stared, tears now falling from her eyes. Her arms ached to reach out for him, to hold him against her as he cried but she couldn't.

"That's all I want," he spoke weakly, tears of his own blurring his vision.

The tension in that tiny living room was suffocating. The heartache wrapped itself around their necks, squeezing with every passing second.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't enough, Rebecca knew that. But it was all she could offer him.

Camron gave her a dry humorless laugh as he rubbed the palms of his sweaty hands over his tear-stained face. How did they end up here? What had gone so wrong? Everything. Maybe they never even had a chance.

"You're sorry?"

"Cam—"

"You're sorry? For—for fucking my best friend and getting pregnant with his baby while I was locked away like a fuckin' animal? You--," he was sobbing now, unable to get a hold of himself. "You promised. You promised you would wait. Why didn't you?"

"That was a different kind of promise, and you know that." She was standing from her spot on the couch, pointing an accusing finger at him. "I never—you weren't supposed to leave me. I made that promise as a kid. A stupid promise; I didn't think I would actually have to wait for you. I never thought...," she paused, raising a shaking hand to tug at the wild curls framing her face. "You weren't supposed to leave me, Cam. But you did."