\ləb-əz-iˈv-ni\

It's 7 o'clock in the evening and the party is about to start. Nasa isang hall sila upang ganapin ang birthday party ng isang binata. Naroon ang mga kaklase, kaibigan at pamilya nito. They're all wearing their best smile.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you for coming here tonight!" The emcee started to greet all the visitors with full of enthusiasm. She also introduced the birthday celebrant who's already seated in front, smiling.

The usual birthday party. Ngunit inuna muna nilang pakainin ang mga bisita dahil mahabang gabi ang mangyayari. While having dinner, there are pictures sliding from the projector. The emcee also sang a few songs to entertain the visitors and the celebrant.

After dinner, an instrumental music was played as requested by the celebrant. He want it peaceful as his family, friends and classmates give their birthday wishes and messages for him.

Nagsimula nang magbigay ng mensahe ang mga kaklase nito. Maiikli lamang at puno ng pasasalamat sa pagiging mabuti nitong kamag-aral sa kanila.

Ang mga kaibigan naman nito ay naging emosyonal na siyang nagsimula upang maluha ang lahat. Lalo na nang magsalita ang tinuturing nitong matalik na kaibigan.

"Man, you know you're really the best right? Sorry kung tunog bakla pero, bro, sobrang salamat sa lahat. Alam kong hindi ako naging ganoon na kabuting kaibigan para sa'yo pero itinuring mo pa rin akong best friend mo. Pasensya na talaga sa lahat. Happy birthday, Man!" Lumunok ito nang mabigat at nagkusot ng kanina pang namumula na mga mata dahil sa mga luhang pinipigilan.

"Now, may we call on the family of the celebrant." The emcee announced softly.

A broken family. But now at his birthday, they are whole. Complete. That for sure brings a lot of happiness to him.

But the family didn't spoke even once. They just stared at him. Letting their hearts and souls speak for them. Letting the tears flow.

The emcee cleared her throat. "Now, the celebrant will give his message."

It took a few seconds before the celebrant began talking.

"Thank you for coming and celebrating my birthday with me." The celebrant spoke. The mother couldn't take it and just burst her heart out.

"Now, I somewhat feel special. Kasi nandito kayo. Pumunta kayo. Naglaan kayo ng oras para sa akin."

Everyone is quiet and just listening to his speech.

"And I just wanna say I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I'm sorry if I couldn't explain myself. I'm sorry for being annoying. I'm sorry that I'm ugly and untalented. Sorry sa mga panahong mapilit ako. Na ipinagsisiksikan ko 'yong sarili ko sa inyo. Pasensya kung ang hilig kong makibagay at makisama. Pasensya na kung hindi ako pasok sa standard niyo para maging kaibigan, kaklase at anak. Pasensya kung ang dami kong pagkukulang. Sorry kung naiiba talaga ako."

The father walked out from the hall. Some went to the comfort room. Others just bowed their heads and some buried their faces on the table. Hearing him saying sorry for something that's not his fault is making them mad of themselves.

"Sorry kung minsan gusto ko lang naman tumulong. Sorry sa mga panahong gusto ko lang ipakita na itinuturing ko kayong kaibigan at pamilya."

Maririnig ang mga mabibigat na paghinga at pag-iyak. They couldn't stop themselves from crying even though it was requested by the celebrant. He want a usual birthday party. He doesn't want crying and sadness.

"Pero maraming maraming salamat sa lahat. Sa mga panahong nakikita niyo ako. Sa mga panahong kahit nasasaktan na ako sa paraan ng pagtrato niyo sa akin, masaya na ako roon. Kasi alam kong nakikita niyo ako. Alam kong hindi ako isang invisible lang."

The mother walked in front. Shaking. Crying. But still managed to hug the coffin of her son.

"Pero hindi ko na talaga kaya eh. Suko na ako sa mundong 'to. I just realized that I wanna be invisible. For good."

"No! Anak!"

Lumapit na ang ibang kamag-anak nito sa magulang niya at inalalayan ito.

"Sorry if I can't wait for the pains to be invisible. Maybe it's better kung ako na lang.

Please always remember that you're not the reason why I wanna be invisible forever. Anxiety, insecurities and depression made me wanna do this.

In fact, kayo pa nga ang nagbigay ng iba't ibang kulay sa buhay ko. You made me realize that life is really a beautiful tragedy.

Thank you everyone. You are all special to me. Always remember that you're not invisible to my eyes."

The voice record stopped. His life stoped. He finished himself without finishing his battle. He's brave but he knows he can't do it alone. But he doesn't want to disturb someone.

All of them are silent after a few minutes. Silently saying their wishes. Silently saying thank you. Silently sorry. And silently crying. But silence could never bring him back.

But,

The boy forced himself to stopped from overthinking and imagining things such as death. He dropped the long rope that he's been holding for almost an hour already. He looked at the mirror and saw himself crying. He can't do it. He can't imagine seeing his family and friends cry over him. Mourn for him. He can't imagine being invisible forever.

He may feel lonely right now but, he now he'll be better someday. Soon. And ending his life is never an answer. There's so much more to life than where he is right now.

He know that all the pain that he's feeling right now will be invisible someday. He'll surpass it. And someday, when he'll look back from these days, he will be proud of himself for being brave.

-

Author's Note:

You're not alone and invisible. Always remember that there are still people who look forward from seeing you. You may not feel it but there are.

And I pray for your healing.

Keep your mind and heart strong, human. I know you are brave and you can surpass it. Maybe not now but soonest.

- La Kapitana