The Unfit Mother

Alone

Tsunami

"Right about now i need a fucking drink. Maybe it will help the paranormal activity go away. I'm too lonely in this apartment all by myself. I miss my little angel, her innocence , her laugh, her smile. I'm not a bad mother am i? No of course not I'm just a mother with a fucked up mentality. But I'm stable right? She can come home right?....Right!!!!???"

Dr. Charles just looked at me with an odd expression.  "Your releasing your emotions, very well Ms. Taylor". He replied with a smile as he wrote on his professional clipboard. I was very irritated. Every time i brought up Stormi he would brush it off. "You didn't answer my question Dr. I want to know if I'm well enough for her to come home." He sighed and shook his head. "I don't think your well enough just yet for her to completely be back with you. She should be fine with Anna. I do however believe that she can visit only on  saturdays, and no she can not and will not spend a night."

"What the fuck!? Why can't she? She's with my mom every fucking day and all I get is a couple of hours on Saturday that's unfair and you know it" I said highly pissed. "Calm down Ms. Taylor. I understand why your upset but you have to understand that until your at least mid way well your just going to have to accept what's on the table" he said. I sighed and held back my tears.

I guess this did mean that I wasn't well. I would just have to accept it. After my therapy session I decided I would go home and take a relaxing bath. I got in the car and cried for at least 10 minutes before I pulled out the parking lot. I put in my cd and turned to number 12 myself, Layton Greene. I turned the radio up, pulled out a flask full of vodka, took a sip and headed home. Alcohol is heaven in a bottle.

I got out the car and headed up the stairs to appt # 26. I opened the doors to my lonely ass appt. and sighed. You know what the crazy thing is.... I even decorated my living room in yellow, hell bright colors thinking it will make me feel better and it doesn't. I went to the bathroom and cut on the hot water and poured in vanilla/pumpkin scented bubble bath. I went to the kitchen poured a glass of wine and went back to the bathroom. Before I got in the tub I cut on some music and cut the lights off. I got in and slowly closed my eyes while I practically drowned myself in peace.

Stormi

"Come get your toys out the floor and then go to bed!" I stopped playing with my baby doll and listened to my granny. I slowly dragged myself to pick up all the mess I had made. Once I got done I got up on the couch and laid down. Key word was "bed" but I didn't have one. However my granny has a house and 3 rooms so why was I sleeping on a couch. My granny is mean to me but treat my cousins better. It's only because they are my uncle who died kids. She don't like my mommy so she don't like me. I may be only 2 but I'm smart.

Tsunami

Today was the next day. Another day for me to "make a change" as my psychiatrist would say. Today was a work day. I worked in an office for this company brand called "Work it Girl" it's a make up company dealing with beauty and stuff since I love makeup. All us office people have to do is make designs for magazines and ship off important paperwork. I got up did my hygiene stuff . I decided to wear a simple black long sleeve top and some dark blue jeans with a black heel( pic in media.)

Once I got to work I went to my office. It smelled like perfume and the liquor I snucked in Thursday lol. It was fine with me as it gave me peace of mind. I sat down and saw the note my coworker left on my stack of undone work. It read "Girls night, pick you up at 7 dress sexy!" I laughed, I admit I love getting cute sometimes but Naraya knew I would throw on a T-shirt and some pants quick as hell. I put the note away and got to work. A few hours passed and I was interrupted by Naraya knocking on my door.

She motioned me to follow her to the break room . I got up and locked my office door before heading out. " I would have came got you earlier but you looked so into it" she said as she laughed. I playfully pushed her. "What's wrong with being into my work. And besides I been slipping so I got to make it look like I'm doing something" I said. She nodded in understandment. Once we got to the break room she opened the fridge and pulled out some fruit.

"So what you plan on wearing tonight?" She asked taking a bite into a big ass watermelon slice. I shrugged. "Ion know, I'm really not in a bad bitch mood" I said sighing. "Why, you usually get excited about girls night" she said taking a seat in front of me bringing the big bowl of fruit along. I looked at her. "Oohhhh, it's stormi isn't it?. What Dr. Charles say yesterday?" I grabbed one of the strawberries before speaking .

"Basically that I'm still not.. you know, so I can't get stormi to come home yet but he talking bout some few hour visits on Saturday's. I guess I can't get mad but it just get lonely you know?" I said kind of sad but trying not to show it. "It's ok just be grateful that you get to see her cause you and I both know their was a point when you couldn't see her at all. And just know if you need me I can always come stay with you if you ever get lonely" she said hugging me. Naraya is my friend the only friend I have... but don't ask what happen to the others.

After our lil talk we went back to work until 4 and soon it was time to go. Me and Naraya went our separate ways until later on. I got home by 5:30 since I had to run errands before I went home. Once I got home I rushed and plopped into my bed. Laying down after a long day of work is the best feeling ever. I stayed like that for a while until I saw that time was passing quick asf. I got up and hopped in the shower for like 40 minutes and then got out. I decided throw on a two piece outfit and some heels. I grabbed my bunny house shoes and threw them in my purse just incase my feet started hurting. I went in my mirror and did my makeup and switched up my hairstyle.

Afterwhile Naraya was outside. She beeped the horn 3 times, paused and beeped two more times lol. That was our secret thing to let me know it was her cause for one thing everybody be beeping horns over here. I grabbed my purse and keys and headed out the door. I opened the door and got in. "So where are we going tonight?" I asked her over that loud as K. Michelle in my feelings shit. She turned down the radio. "To have some drinks at this new bar that just opened. I heard its some fine ass dudes there" she said with a big ass grin. "Girl sit yo fast ass down" I replied laughing. "Honey please, if anything you need some d in yo life" she said. I smiled at her and looked away. "I'm not about to entertain you" I said. After a 20n minute drive we finally pulled up at this bar. It looked nice as hell. Its time to put stress to the side and drink the night away.