"I did love him."
I ran toward seokwoo's house.
Seokwoo told me not to get involved many times but I couldn't listen to him this time.
He said he'll fix everything but he couldn't.
I believed in seokwoo more than myself.
but he couldn't do it.he couldn't fix it.
His father called me and asked me if I knew where seokwoo was.
seokwoo would never disappear without telling his parents.
he came to me a few days ago.he didn't say anything.
I though he was going to do his aegyo to get a promise from me again but he didn't.
he knew how his aegyo was useful to get want he wanted but this time he wasn't like usual.
I threw myself on the couch after opening the door for him and kept drinking the beverage in my hand until he entered the house.
without saying anything he put his legs around my waist and hugged me.
I never saw him to do such a childish work.
I hugged him back while thinking what was happening to him.
I was his best friend so he had to tell me but he easily fell asleep without giving any explanation.
I didn't move to let him sleep in my embrace longer.
I know how broken he was because it wasn't a long time since he had broke up with his girlfriend.
I decided not to visit him until he got better and strangely..
he didn't come to me either.
at least I was happy to feel him between my arms.
I knocked the door and it didn't take a long time until seokwoo's father opened the door.
"Hello mr.kim,did you find seokwoo?"I asked while panting.
"No.we checked everywhere but he's not anywhere."he said anxiously.
It was a stupid work of seokwoo to worry his parents like that.
"I'll find him.I promise."I bowed and turned around to call seokwoo again.
he wasn't answering.
I visited everywhere I needed to find him but he was nowhere to be found.
How could that jerk disappear like that?
he never thought of us,did he?
with my phone ringing I looked at it's screen.
it was a unknown number but I answered anyways.
"Hello?"
"your friend is here."
my eyes widened when i heard a woman's voice.
"I'll send you the location."
when she hung up I came to myself.
I realized fast..she knew where seokwoo was.
I ran to take a taxi when I recieved the message.
I needed to find seokwoo before he could harm himself.
I would hit him as hard as I could and made him cry.
He didn't dare to worry me.
I finally arrived.I was counting quietly to hold his collar and slap him.
I really was going to do that but when I saw him my feets started to shaking.
I walked toward him and held his wrist and made him stand up.
he was drunk and I could feel smell alcohole from him well.
"Oh juho-ah...I didn't expect to see you here..Why are you..here?"He asked and tried to stand on his feet properly.
I ignored his question and held his hand.
he had better to get ready with a explanation!
dragged him with me.
"You idiot.How dared you to worry me?"
I wasn't paying attention that he was drunk and couldn't walk as fast as I could.
"Listen..juho-ah listen to me.."
he tried to pull out his wrist but he was just dragging with me.
"I know."
I stopped in a dark alley and pushed him toward a car.
he hit the car with his shoulder and slipped on the floor.
"I know you haven't forgotten her but you have to.I can't stand you being like this."
"Then you can..leave."
my eyes windened.what was he talking about?
"You can leave too.I didn't ask you to stay with me."
he stood up and leant to the car.
"are you sure you can bear without me?"I smirked.
"I don't know."
I stepped back and put my hands in my pocket.
I knew him.he wouldn't be able to live without me and yet I nodded and left.
Because he wanted it.
[Seokwoo's POV]:
He didn't know.
He didn't know how broken I was.
I never liked my girlfriend and juho never tried to understand it.
My parents just wanted me to see juho less.
they never tried to understand either.
I was still there.I didn't know if anyone could see me or not.
I lost him.
I lost who stood by my side when there was no one there for me.
I started laughing.
my parents had to throw a party because I had lost juho.
To be honest..I lost my girlfriend because of juho too.
I was with her just because my mom asked me to.
she threated me to be with him or she wouldn't let me see juho.
I wasn't a kid to be threated this easy but I was scared.
she could do anything and now..I lost him by my own and didn't know what to do anymore.
I wanted to cry but I couldn't.I couldn't believe yet.
I told him to leave and he did.
"I never..felt this..aweful.."
**
"Does hiding in my room work?"
I asked myself and pulled the blanket on my body.
I was just running away.I had to kill myself but I was scared that juho wasn't in the other world.
Maybe I had to visit him and apologize for being like that.
I had to tell him how much I loved him and ask him to stay with me instead of any girl.
I needed a miracle-
with ringing my phone I answered without looking at the name of the contact.
"Hey there!you must be 'The cute idiot' right??"
I didn't know what the guy was talking about but I nodded.
"Yes."
"This guy right here,has passed out.I guess you want to collect him right?"
I stood up worried.
"WHAT THE HELL??WHY HAS HE PASSED OUT??WHERE THE HELL IS HE??"
"wuw wuw.relax.I'll send you the location."
he hung up.
he was speaking like that girl last night.
she called juho to pick me up and now I had to pick him up.
did I have to go?
I bit my lower lip.he was all I had.
I had to go.
I changed my clothes and went there by my car.
There was a guy beside juho and was looking at him curiously.
I wanted to yell at him for staring at my juho like that but I remembered soon..
He wasn't mine..
"Oh!Cute idiot-ssi?"
"I'm sorry for making trouble and thank you for taking care of him."
I piggybacked juho but the guy stopped me.
"Oh then you're the cutie."
I stopped when he called me cutie.
"He was nagging about how cute and dumb you are.he said he needs to protect you."
he told me i was cute everytime he was with me but hearing it now..
it hurt.
I didn't want to cry in front of a stranger.
I just thanked again and left.
I had to ride juho home and leave.
I did but..I couldn't leave.
Every glare at his face was making me cry.
I closed the door of his room and put my wrist on my eyes.
I started crying quietly not to wake him up.
I missed him already..I didn't used to get away from him..
I wanted him to tell me it was ok..
I needed him to stay by my side again but..
he wasn't there to hear me.
I went to kitchen to cook and then leave.
he needed to eat something since he couldn't cook well himself.
I wiped my tears and started working.
it was an hour later or maybe more but I suddenly felt his existance behind me.
I stopped breathing and turned my head a bit.
When I saw his glare I became nervous.
"I wanted to go!!just turn it off about 5 minutes later."
I held my head down and wanted to pass from him but he held my wrist and made me curse myself for facing him like that.
without saying anything he held me into his embrace and hid his face on my neck.
I looked at in front of me shocked.I didn't know what was happening but I knew whatever it was,it wasn't normal.
"Stay."
**
"It's tastes aweful."
he said for the 100th time and made me frown.
"You don't need to eat then."
I tried to take the plate but he pushed my hand away and kept eating the chicken soup I made.
He finished it after while and noticed me staring at him for a long time.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"like how?"
I didn't need an answer but I wanted to talk to him more.
"Forget it."
it simply destroyed my wish to have a conversation with him.
He put the plate on his other side and spread his arms.
"come here."
was he thinking I was his child?How could he expect me to go and rest on his chest?
I stood up and did what he wanted shamelessly.
"I'm going to smash your face if you said I have to leave you.did you understand?"he asked and made me nod slowly.
I had to tell him.maybe his thoughts would change that way.
"I have to tell you something."
I knew he was waiting for me to say it but it was still hard.
"I broke up with her because of you."
he didn't say anything.I knew he was shocked and I was sorry for making the atmosphere that heavy.
"I was a coward for not telling you that I love you.You have the right to kick me out or whatever you want to do-"
I stopped when he cupped his hands around my face and held my face up.
he kissed me gently..
I wasn't expecting that..it was sweet..
I thought he would kick me out of his house and curse me but he was just kissing me..
"I knew."
what?
"I knew what you were feeling.were you thinking you could live without me?No one can protect you the way i can."
"You knew and yet..you stayed quiet?"
I couldn't control my tears anymore.
he kissed my tears and leant my head to his chest.
"I thought you might find out that I loved you too but you never did."he said disappointed and started to play with my hair.
"You-"
"I do love you."
he kissed me.
"And you're not allowed to go out with any girl ever again.You'll stay my baby forever kim seokwoo."
And kissed me once again..
Surely..I was his.
