jams

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it's the day of the concert

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it's the day of the concert.
i listened to greyhound about 80 times.
cried about 100 times.
but i'm finally ready to see you.

jack texted me that he's here, to get me.
he asked if i'm ready to see you
i said no
and now we are outside waiting in line to get in.

there's a lot of fan girls here. holding posters with your name on it.
your famous baby.
you made it.
i wish i was there throughout the journey.

i don't know what gave you the confidence to sing infront of 200 people.
when it used to be just one.
plain old delilah.

we are in the front row.
the lights shut off.
a spotlight turns on
it shines on the person who broke me

i look up at you.
you looked at me.
i saw the sadness in your eyes.

greyhound started playing.
i sang that song with all the pain left in me.
you looked at me the whole time.

your voice filled the room.
"this song is new, and it goes out to someone. it's called blame."

"my girls on a train
shes going far away
she's never coming back
she gives me heart attacks"

i heard the pain in your voice.
you continued, sometimes your voice would break of sadness.

"she left there torn
pierced like a thorn
it was all my fault
she forgot about
the call.
she'll never be the same
she'll never be the same
and i'm the one to blame"

i cried. i looked you in the eyes and cried.

the call

"d? i miss you"

i stayed silent

"please talk to me i didn't mean what i said i don't want her i want you"

"i can't finn"

"fuck delilah renee evans! don't you get it! i'm fucking in love with you. i can't fall out of it. everytime i see a photo of you, or come across an old video of you, i break. i miss you. i love you. i'm head over fucking heels for you delilah. remember our song? we'll have it good. we'll have the life we knew we would. my word is good. our song d! our song! i love you so fucking much d, i'm going insane without you."

"guess you'll have to keep going insane, because i'm tired of it finn. i love you, but it's time to say goodbye" and like that, i ended the call.

and like that, i ended the relationship, but never my pain.

he mouthed something to me, but neither jack or i caught it. jack noticed i was crying and just held me.

the show ended.
jack had left and i waited outside for my ride.

finn came running out of the venue.

out of breath.
"delilah!" he said with a small relieved smile.
"finn." i said with tears in my eyes.
"i missed you."

i fell for the same boy who broke my heart all over again.

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