𝖜𝖎𝖘𝖍 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖌𝖆𝖞 [SPAM]

sigh

so this is gonna be a rant

like a RANT rant

it's about this girl lucy

mk lets go

so ive known her since 2015 and we were rlly close in 2015 but drifted cuz we just didn't see each other no big deal we were 12

but then like september we got close again cuz we were in a play together and ig i caught lil soft feelings for her yanno

oct 19th we had a sleepover and like. we cuddled. but that shit wasn't straight cuddling. yk when u can just tell they ain't straight? ye that was her. and like all my friends got the same vibes.

i guess she led me on and shit for a while and then we fell out blah blah i got my heart broken and we drifted at like the end of december and just sort of went our separate ways. i got over her eventually

then we get close again like last month. we hang out and text a lot blah blah no feelings or anything. then we talk about sexuality and stuff and im still getting all these not straight vibes. i mean she watches orange is the new black ok.

and me being me is complaining cuz i haven't kissed anyone lol. she says "if you complain one more time i'll kiss you next time i see u". me being the little flirt i am keeps saying it.

she says she won't actually kiss me and i ask why not it'd just be shits and giggles and she says "i might catch feelings" and I'm like "RIGHT. do you like girls or not?!" boom it all unraveles that she's still a lil confused but yee shes bi pretty much

that was all over text btw ^^

so anyhoe last Saturday she was staying at mine and there was hella tension (like the sorta sexual, flirty type of tension not the awkward kind)

and maybe i ended up on top of her whilst play fighting her and mAybe i straddled her for a while and yeah maybe i started to catch the feelings there

so THEN we went in the hot tub

(tatbilb??)

and it was all fun and innocent to begin with cuz my sister was there lolol but then she left and I shut the curtains so
you couldn't see us from inside the house (  ;)))  )

and whoopsie daisy i ended up straddling her again

but then i was on top of her and we were nose to nose for like AN HOUR and i whispered "just do it" and she was like "no" and i was like "i know you want to. im not getting out this hot tub until you kiss me" and then she was like "if you want it, you do it"

so i did lol AND REMEBER THIS WAS MY FIRST KISS

it was like open mouth with lip biting but no tongue ¿

then yeah later i was in the bathroom and she said outside "are you screaming inside as much as i am" and obvi I was like yee

so then we was in bed cuddling (cute ik) and i was like "so do you like me or are you just bored" and she said "idk but it's not like this is going to go anywhere"

SO NOW IDK IF SHE LIKES ME

but now she's ignoring me so i think she regrets it idk

and im sad

i just wanna treat her right and be the best gf

but she doesn't want that

so now im and lonely

rant over also this isn't edited i haven't even read it through so if it doesn't make sense that's why :)