Lust to love

P.r.o.l.o.g.u.e

So this is where you're spending your days now? Funny I thought you could do better." Ragini said, staring disdainfully around at the dark grimy bar. She slid into the booth looking for all the world as if she didn't want to be there.

"What do you want Ragini ?" He growled out irritated, and the bartender glanced over at them.

Ragini smirked, "A shiny new red Ferrari."

"Ragini ."

How had she even tracked him down? Rosalie wasn't a tracker of any kind and this town, this tiny little bar was miles and miles away from Home-Kolkata . His hands curled around the glass and he adjusted his grip so that it wasn't in danger of breaking.

Ragini 's eyes followed the movement and her eyes widened in surprise. "Pretending to be a drunken sentimental I see."

Sanskar shrugged. "It's a better then substitute for what I really want."

"It tastes like fucking shit, Jas."

He shrugged again and drank down the shot as if to prove her wrong. It  burned his throat going down. .

"You know you're a fucking masochist just like her, right?"

"I'm nothing like her." Sanskar raised his hand and signaled the bartender for another one. He wasn't pretend-drunk enough for this conversation.

"Liar." Ragini called. "If you weren't a masochist then you wouldn't be here in this shithole of a bar. You wouldn't be trying to get drunk that shit ."

Sanskar stared at her, a thousand unreadable emotions racing in his eyes. "You think I want to be here? "

"No one is forcing you here Sankey ." Ragini said sharply, lowering her voice so that none of the surrounding them would hear.

"And no one seemed to be protesting either Ragini ."

"You barely let anyone speak before you were gone. I realize this is a thing for you but are you really going to let him win?"

"I'm not sure if you're aware of this Ragini , but he's already won. They're getting married and she's already made her fucking choice." Sanskar's hands tightened around the glass and Ragini heard a telltale 'crack'. "So don't act like I haven't fucking tried, because I have. I've tried to make it work more times than I can count."

"So you just don't care anymore? Is that it?"

"I'm trying not to."

Ragini sat back and crossed her arms, golden gaze staring at him and his red-tinged eyes. "Did you fall off the wagon?"

Sanskar gestured to his glass. "You mean you can't tell?"

"Sanskar ."

He sighed. "I might have killed a couple of thugs from a slum colony a week ago. But I haven't hurt anyone innocent and I'm still mostly drinking ."

Ragini said nothing, her silence speaking just fine for her. Sanskar wondered if she was trying to guilt trip him. He didn't particularly feel bad about it. He hadn't killed  and he was still, if a bit struggling, trying to keep to the Gadodia code , even if he wasn't a Gadodia anymore.

"Why are you letting her turn you into this?" Ragini wondered out loud.

"Have you ever considered that I was already this? Without Kavita and her, without the family I was always this."

Ragini frowned again, an almost imperceptible tilt of the lips but Sanskar could see her anger, her sadness and her irritation.

"You know you can still have us back. You can be yourself again."